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"And, my dears," she concluded triumphantly, "the langwidge that bird used trying to cover up all that egg was simply awful. What about that for luck? A magpie sittin' on a wedding-day!" But, perhaps, of the whole list of omens that happened that morning, Pretty Wilkes, the baker's wife, held the greatest interest for them all.
"What news of that brave man?" asked Dom Corria, and his deep voice vibrated with real feeling. "First-rate, sir," said Dickey. "The bullet is extracted, and the doctor says 'e'll soon be all right. Leastways, that's wot Iris tells me. I can't talk Portuguese meself, an' pore old Jimmie's langwidge ain't fit to be repeated." The President laughed.
Then I see a sign, 'Non-Union men wanted Big wages. In I goes, and strains my langwidge through a wire net at the cashier. "'I want them big wages, says I. "'What can you do? "'Anything to get the money, says I. 'What does it take to liquidate an assault on a labour leader? "There was a white-haired man in the cage who began to sit up and take notice.
"Them thought jewels and wads of repartee was piling up in me fast, like tailings from a ground-sluice, till I could feel myself getting bloated and pussy with langwidge, but I thought, 'No! to-morrow Kink 'll be safe, and then I'll throw a jolt into this man's camp that'll go down in history. They'll think some Chinaman's been thawing out a box of giant powder when I let out my roar.
"You win," sez he, as though we had made mud-pies together. "Come on, let's load the trunks an' trip toward where ther's a noise like food. I'm troubled with what they call a famine." We drove along, an' he was as merry as a bug an' talked a langwidge the like of nothin' that I had ever met up with before; but I was tryin' to fit his real size with my idea of it.
"See here, Bob Whitstone," he began, abandoning his glass wiping and supporting himself on his counter, with his face offensively thrust in his opponent's direction, "I ain't got the langwidge you seem to have lapped up with your mother's milk.
The man that invented writin' must 'a' been tongue-tied or had sore throat some time when he wanted to talk awful bad. My langwidge ain't broke to pull no city rig or no hearse. She's got to have the road and plenty room to sidestep. "Now, how would I say it if John were here? Would I start off with 'Dear John' or 'Dear Old Friend'? I reckon not. I'd just say: 'John, I'm goin' to quit.
Arizona turned a doubtful eye on the speaker, and quietly spat over his horse's shoulder. "Guess your langwidge ain't mine," he said thoughtfully; "but if you're meanin' you're goin' to git your belly full, I calc'late you're li'ble to git like a crop-bound rooster wi' the moult 'fore you're through. An' I sez, why?" Tresler shrugged. "Why does a man do anything?" he asked indifferently.
Then he sort o' picked him up an' shook him with a power o' langwidge, an' sot him down like a spanked kid. Then he clouted him over both lugs with a shower o' words wi' capitals, clumped him over the head wi' a bunch o' texts, an' thrashed him wi' a fact'ry o' trac' papers.
"We'd been out in the hills for a week on our first trip before he got one of them death-watch faces on him, and boycotted the English langwidge. I stood for it three days, trying to jolly a grin on to him or rattle a word loose, but he just wouldn't jolt. "One night we packed into camp tired, hungry, and dying for a good feed. "I hustled around and produced a supper fit for old Mr. Eppycure.
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