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Updated: June 6, 2025
She bent her head and kissed him on the forehead. "Dudley," she finished mischievously, "what are you going to give Lorraine for a wedding-present?" "I might buy her the book, 'Row to be Happy though Married," he said dilly, "or write her a new one and call it 'Words of Warning for Wifey."
"Alla, bless her heart, she is a good soul, is a flighty creature and she accepted the attentions of the comedian which his wife was not supposed to be jerry to. But one day some gabby girl put wifey next.
"You miserable thief!" continued his matrimonial partner, aiming a blow at him, which he playfully parried; "why didn't you tell me you were a beggar?" "Why? Because you didn't ask me. For that matter, why didn't you or your father tell me that you were beggars?" "Poor, dear wifey!" said the emollient Chiffield. "None of your 'poor dears' to my daughter, you jailbird!" screamed Mr. Whedell.
"Mother," after a pause, replied her hopeful progeny, "if the girl had been only pretty, I shouldn't have asked any body's help; for marriage was never to my liking, and folks may have their will of prouder beauties than this Emily, without going to church for it; but money makes it quite another matter: and I may as well have the benefit of your assistance in this matter o' money, eh mother? matrimony, you know: an heiress and a beauty may be worth the wedding-ring; besides, when my commission comes, I can follow the good example that my parents set me, you know; and, after a three months' honey-mooning, can turn bachelor again for twenty years or so, as our governor-general did, and so leave wifey at home, till she becomes a Mrs.
But it is not every one who has so tidy and neat a little body for a wife as I have. So come, wifey, bustle about, for the children are all crying as though they had not eaten for a week; and I declare that I'm as hungry as any of them."
The commuter with the sled had just been picked up by Wifey, loaded down with more bundles, and rushed off for the five-forty-something for Somewhere, and a new recruit in the shape of a fish-eyed gink with a double-chin dimple had drifted in, when I has the feelin' that someone has sidled up to me from the far door at the left and is standin' there.
After the choir practice now, and before the baptism, you could have a brisk walk. To please me!" "Yes. I had meant to get a breath of air then," said he. "But ye guid Dame Poppit has insisted that I take a wee hand at the cartes with them, the wifey and I. Prithee, shall we meet there?" I have promised dear Isabel to do my best." "Well, and a lassie can do no mair," said he. "Au reservoir then."
"Where'd you get the brandy?" he persisted; and she began feebly to cry. "Naughty Horry, to speak to wifey so! Didn't I promise you and the doctor I wouldn't touch it? And me left without a penny to buy it with! And only water the whole day long has passed my lips. I'll take an oath! I wish I may die to-night, Horry, if I've had a drop!" He turned from her and rang the bell.
Just as she got to the sharp corner opposite the station, where all cars slowed down and her coal-merchant's office was situated, the train drew up. By the gates into the yard were standing the Major in his top-hat, the Captain in his Panama, Irene in a civilized skirt; Diva in a brand-new walking dress, and the Padre and wee wifey.
But he is a gentleman almost a self-made one, and he doesn't let you forget it." "Then you've seen him?" "Yes, to-day." Her lips suddenly twitched with irresistible humour. "He called me 'Hal' and Lorraine 'wifey' We bore it bravely." "What business had he to call you by your Christian name?" "None. I suppose he just felt like it. He also alluded to my new hat as a bonnet.
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