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Ain smart like dey used to be. An times ain good like dey was. Ef'n it hadnt been for some of dem crazy fools, actin up and smarty, me an my wife'd be gittin maybe a hun'ered an' more dollars a month, 'stead o the fifteen we gits 'tween us for ole' age help. They'd ought to let Rosevelt alone. An its his own folks as is fitin' 'im. He is a big man even ef he is a Democrat. I'm a Republican though.

But I 'shured 'em 'twas all right, an' knocked down one or two Crackers what grinned when I tole 'em, an' Mandy Ann did a power of fitin'. She's great at it jess like a cat, an' we got 'em pretty much all under, except a few ole women, who never quite gin in till de last.

His reg'lar original father being absent to the war, I told him I'd be a father to him myself. He smilt a sickly smile, and said I'd already been wus than two fathers to him. I will here obsarve that fitin orter be allus avided, excep in extreem cases.

"Ham laughed one of his peculiar guffaws. "'Yah! yah! Massa Tom. I speck dat is de bes' way. Doz you want sumfin to eat? Got plenty of chicken. Dey git skeered at de fitin', and jes' cum rite to de camp, sah. Yes, sah, dey am 'fraid of de Sesh, dey is; dey know der friends, dese chickens do. "The General laughed, saying, 'Ham, are you quite sure they came into camp alone?

"I always s'posed," he continued, "that bein' a sojer meant fitin' somebody; and here we are roaming over the country like a lot of tramps. I can't see no good in it, nohow." "Don't be in a hurry. Si," replied Shorty; "I reckon we'll ketch it soon 'nuff. From what I've hearn the old soldiers tell a battle ain't such a funny thing as a feller thinks who don't know anything about it, like you'n me.

Sez I, "my jentle Sir go out or I shall fall onto you putty hevy." Sez he, "Wade in, Old wax figgers," whareupon I went for him, but he cawt me powerful on the hed & knockt me threw the tent into a cow pastur. He pursood the attack & flung me into a mud puddle. As I aroze & rung out my drencht garmints I koncluded fitin wasn't my Fort.

I take care of Missus Mary and de little gal; don't you hab no fears 'bout dem. But you isn't gwine to hab Ham go, is you? If you doz, dat ole fool he git kill. I 'spect he got no mo' sense dan jes' git rite in whar dey is fitin? "'No, no, Marfa; you is wrong dar. I tell you dat you is. I stay by Massa Tom.

But the old 'Squire got putty riley, when he heard how the rebels was cuttin up, and he sed he reckoned he should skour up his old muskit and do a little square fitin for the Old Flag, which had allers bin on the ticket HE'D voted, and he was too old to Bolt now.

In the North of England, baker's bread is called "bought bread." Wat's your fitin wate? Air you trubeld with biles? How does your meresham culler? State whether you air blind, deaf, idiotic, or got the heaves? Do you know any Opry singers, and if so how much do they owe you? What's the average of virtoo on the Ery Canawl?

I knows what it is goin' arter places; there's such lots a fitin' after 'em, that if you lets so much as a hour go afore yer looks 'em up, there's them as slips in fust gets it; and wen yer goes to the door they opens it and sez, "It ain't no use, boy, we're sooted;" and then where are yer, I'd like to know?