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They air powerful hevy eaters & take up a right smart chans of room, & besides thay air as ugly and revenjeful, as a Cusscaroarus Injun, with 13 inches of corn whisky in his stummick." The man in black close seemed to be as fine a man as ever was in the wurld. He smilt & sed praps I was rite, tho it was ellermunts instid of ellerfunts that he was alludin to, & axed me what was my prinserpuls?
People used to come in large and enthoosiastic crowds from all parts of the country to see me, I was such a sweet and intel'gent infant. The excitement was so intens, in fack, that a extra hotel was startid in the town to accomodate the peple who thronged to my cradle." Havin finished these troothful statemints, I smilt sweetly on the worthy female.
His reg'lar original father being absent to the war, I told him I'd be a father to him myself. He smilt a sickly smile, and said I'd already been wus than two fathers to him. I will here obsarve that fitin orter be allus avided, excep in extreem cases.
"Bedad, Tom," said Mick to me, as we looked down over the side, holding our noses as, indeed, everybody on board was doing, every man-jack in the ship, I think, being on deck, from the old commodore down to the youngest middy and ship's boy "Oi nivver smilt a shmell loike thet since me faither an' Oi wor at Clontarf whin they opened the graveyard theer, and toorned the owld coffins out wid the bones rattlin' aboot in thim jist loike pays in a pannikin, sure, whin we're goin' fur to make pay-soup, or pay doo, ez we used fur to call it aboard the owld Saint Vincent!"
Don't tell me," I said, in a voice choked with emotion "Oh, do not tell me that you also make boots for him. Say slippers say that you mend a boot now and then for him; but do not tell me that you make 'em reg'lar for him." The man smilt, and said I didn't understand these things. He said I perhaps had not noticed in London that dealers in all sorts of articles was By Appintment.
Sez I, "Albert Edard, is that you?" & he smilt & sed it was. Sez I, "Albert Edard, hears my keerd. I cum to pay my respecks to the futer King of Ingland. The Kurnal of the Seventy Onesters hear is ruther smawl pertaters, but of course you ain't to blame fur that. He puts on as many airs as tho he was the Bully Boy with the glass eye."
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