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Updated: August 29, 2026
Sez I, "my jentle Sir go out or I shall fall onto you putty hevy." Sez he, "Wade in, Old wax figgers," whareupon I went for him, but he cawt me powerful on the hed & knockt me threw the tent into a cow pastur. He pursood the attack & flung me into a mud puddle. As I aroze & rung out my drencht garmints I koncluded fitin wasn't my Fort.
"You've got the wrong grave," said a man a worthy villager: "Shakspeare is buried inside the church." "Oh," I said, "a boy told me this was it." The boy larfed and put the shillin I'd given him onto his left eye in a inglorious manner, and commenced moving backwards towards the street. I pursood and captered him, and after talking to him a spell in a skarcastic stile, I let him went.
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