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Updated: May 7, 2025
"Why not?" Mr. Heron asked, stimulated to a little curiosity. "Paris is a beauty, you know, a little on the wane, and wanting to be elaborately made up and curled and powdered and painted, and all that. She's a little of a slattern underneath the surface, you know, and doesn't bear to be taken unawares mustn't be seen for at least an hour or two after she has got out of bed.
The utmost thing of practical value she could do was to buy a new, gay dressing-gown and a pair of high-heeled slippers. And Andrew, conscious of waning beauty, overlooked it in the light of her new and unsuspected coquetry. Where once the slattern lolled about the little salon, now moved an attractively garbed and tidy woman.
I'm afraid you expect a beautiful POEM, Though I make a long and tedious proem, But great and dreadful are my fears, No poem of mine will put you in TEARS. My genius suggests neither fairy nor witch, My tales to adorn with cauldrons of pitch, Alarm the world with fiery EYES, And from the hero snatch his prize, Leap out from her den with a terrible BOUNCE, And on the trembling damsel pounce, And bottle her up in a close corked JAR, Or whirl her away in a flaming car; Then her knight, the brave Sir FRANCIS, Upon his noble steed advances, All his armour off he LEAVES, Preserves alone his polished greaves, His defence is a buff JACKET, Nor sword nor axe nor lance can crack it, It was made at HARROGATE, By a tailor whose shop had a narrow gate; The elves attack with spears of BARLEY, But he drives them off, oh! rarely, Then they shoot him with an ARROW, From bow-strings greased with ear-wigs' marrow, The feathers, moth-wings downy VELVET, The bow-strings, of the spider's net: Thousands come, armed in this PATTERN, Which proves their mistress is no slattern; Some wear the legs and hoof of PAN, And some are in the form of man; But the knight is armed, for in his POCKET He has a talismanic locket, Which once belonged to HERCULES, Who wore it on his bunch of keys; The fairy comes, quite old and fat, Mounted upon a monstrous BAT; Around the knight a web she weaves, And holds him fast, and there she LEAVES Sir Francis weeping for his charmer, And longing for his knightly ARMOUR. But his sword was cast in the self-same forge As that of the great champion GEORGE; Thus he defies the witch's ARMY, He breaks his bands; 'Ye elves, beware me, I fear not your LEVIATHAN, No spells can stop a desperate man. Away in terror flies the REAR-GUARD, He seizes on the witch abhorred, Confines her in a COCKLE SHELL, And breaks all her enchantments fell, Catches her principal LIEUTENANT, Makes him of a split pine the tenant; Carries away the lady, nimble, As e'er Miss Merton plied her THIMBLE; Oh! this story would your frowns unbend.
Her mother had died of consumption when Pinkey was eleven, and two years later her father had married his housekeeper. She proved to be a shiftless slattern, never dressed, never tidy, and selfish to the core under the cloak of a good-natured smile. She was always resting from the fatigue of imaginary labours, and her house was a pigsty.
She might scruple to make use of the words, but she must and did feel that her mother was a partial, ill-judging parent, a dawdle, a slattern, who neither taught nor restrained her children, whose house was the scene of mismanagement and discomfort from beginning to end, and who had no talent, no conversation, no affection towards herself; no curiosity to know her better, no desire of her friendship, and no inclination for her company that could lessen her sense of such feelings.
His lord was ushered to the seat of honour, a sofa covered with a fabric which had once been plush, but now resembled draggled sealskin; while Iskender went quite unnoticed till the wife of Karlsberger a bulky slattern, who kept shuffling in and out with plates and glasses perceived his need, and placed a stool for him.
The woman, a slattern, who was known by the unpleasant name of Rya's Pup, declared that Walter Butler had gone to Johnstown to join St. Leger before Stanwix, and that the Tories would give the rebels such a drubbing that we would all be crawling on our bellies yelling for quarter this day week.
Some one had brought out an electric battery, and the lumpish boys and slattern girls were shouting and laughing as they writhed with the current.
Drawn by the steeds in coats of VELVET, Old Steady, Jack, and Slattern, Their manes well combed, and black as jet, Their tails in the same PATTERN. While Richard's son, with pipe of PAN, His hands within his POCKETS, Walks close beside the old plough-man, Dreaming of squibs and rockets.
The slattern is no slattern now; she is always dainty and nice and neat; the golden youth is generous to a fault, and noble in all his ways; and if either or both should be somewhat foolish, or even downright stupid, the lack of wisdom is concealed by a tender smile or a soft touch of the hand. It is the dream-time of life; and it is not usual for one to awake until it is over.
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