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Updated: June 24, 2025
Uncle Peter was wearing a small diamond pin in his cravat and quite by accident the setting became loose and the stone dropped to the floor. The old gentleman became very much concerned about it and we all started to look for it. "Wait a minute!" said Skinski; "the spark fell in your left-hand vest pocket." Uncle Peter looked at him blankly.
Uncle Peter's right hand trembled a bit, with the result that five of the quinines fell into his left hand. "If you counted money the way you count pills you'd quit loser," chuckled Skinski. "Put four of those dizzy-wizzys back in the box." The old gentleman did so. "Now take your penknife and open the pill you didn't put back," commanded Skinski.
At this moment Skinski bounded on the stage, bowed right and left, and in five words he made it appear that I was only a comedy curtain raiser. Say! I never was so glad to see anybody in all my life. I backed off the stage, and he pulled something on my exit that got an awful laugh. I didn't care. I was so delighted that Skinski was there that I nearly hugged Dodo.
Skinski can throw a new pack of cards up in the air and bite his initials on the queen of diamonds before it hits the floor. He's a marvel." "Where did you find him?" Bunch inquired. "At a club smoker," I answered. "He was the hit of the evening. He pulled a few snake tricks down there and in five minutes he had all the members of the Highball Association climbing the water wagon.
"And, by the way, nephew Bunch, I met a certain old party this morning who thinks you are very hot fried parsnips!" "You did," Bunch came back, with a yawn. "Yes," replied Skinski; "and a nice old man, too, is Mr. William Grey. "Where the devil did you meet Mr. Grey?" Bunch inquired excitedly. "Back, back up!" said Skinski quietly; "I didn't disgrace my family. Mr.
Skinski handed me the note with a face as solemn as a monkey-wrench, and I read it: CITY, Sunday P.M. DEAR JOHN I send herewith the two rosebuds. As a favor to your old pal please treat my beloved relatives with every consideration and make a fuss over them. You know you told them in the restaurant to come and see you. They want to make good and will stay a week if you insist.
You need only take a few hundred dollars for pocket money, and he's going to invest your $5,000 where it will be immensely productive." I could only sit and listen and pass away. What would become of Skinski and Bunch and our good money! How could I ever account for the missing funds without leading Peaches down to Wall Street and showing her the tall buildings they had built with my dough.
Let me present Bunch's Uncle Cornelius McGowan and his Aunt Flora from Springfield my wife and my mother-in-law!" Skinski and Dodo were wise in a minute, and they never batted an eye, but Bunch took the full count. Of course he couldn't deny the relationship without giving himself away, so he simply stood there and looked foolish.
"Say, John! you know well enough I can't leave New York for more than two or three days just at this time without having a good excuse to give Alice," Bunch growled, while Skinski and the Circassian lady put the knives to the chicken livers en brochette. "How about me!" I snapped back. "I can't go out of town at all, except in the day-time.
"Impossible, why, there's nothing there but this box of quinine pills for my cold." "Open it," said Skinski, and Uncle Peter did so. "How many of those do you usually take in a day?" asked Skinski. "Four," replied the puzzled old gentleman. "Drop four of them in your left hand," ordered Skinski.
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