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Updated: June 17, 2025
No soul could tell how good it was; it was near about as handSUM as father's old genuine particular cider, and that you could feel tingle clean away down to the tip eends of your toes. 'Now, says the Major, 'I'll give you, Slick, a new wrinkle on your horn. Folks ain't thought nothin' of unless they live at Treemont: it's all the go.
"Now fix the snares roun' thar thrapples. Make the other eends fast by giein' them a wheen o' turn over them branches above. See as ye draw 'em tight 'ithout streetchin'." Walt's orders are carried out quickly, and to the letter, for the men executing them now comprehend what is meant. They also, too well, who are seated upon the backs of the mules. It is an old trick of their own.
Well, if there warn't a jam you may depend; some one give me a pull, and I near abouts went heels up over head, so I reached out both hands, and caught hold of the first thing I could, and what should it be but a lady's dress well, as I'm alive, rip went the frock, and tear goes the petticoat, and when I righted myself from my beam eends, away they all came home to me, and there she was, the pretty critter, with all her upper riggin' standin' as far as her waist, and nothin' left below but a short linen under-garment.
Well, all up stairs is a great onfarnished place, filled with every sort of good for nothin trumpery in natur barrels without eends corn cobs half husked cast off clothes and bits of old harness, sheep skins, hides, and wool, apples, one half rotten, and tother half squashed a thousand or two of shingles that have bust their withs, and broke loose all over the floor, hay rakes, forks and sickles, without handles or teeth; rusty scythes, and odds and eends without number.
Our table wuz made the same, an' our bed wuz laid on slabs whut rested on poles at the outsides, with the othah eends o' them let in between the logs o' the hut. Henry wuz a baby then, an' he wuz rocked in a sugar-trough cradle. But, pshaw! heah my tongue's a-runnin' lak a bell clappah; I reckon these ole 'membrances don't intrust you much, an' " "Indeed they do.
Graham's pictur and gin him yourn 'long of one of them curls how he's writ and you've writ, and how he's gone off to the eends of the airth to get rid on you and how you try to cotch young Mas'r Durward, who hate the sight on you how you waylay him one day, settin' on a rock out by the big gate and how you been seen mighty nigh fifty times comin' home afoot from Captain Atherton's in the night, rainin' thunder and lightnin' hard as it could pour how after you done got Miss Anna to 'lope, you ax Captain Atherton to have you, and git mad as fury 'cause he 'fuses and how your mother warn't none too likely, and a heap more that I can't remember hain't you heard of none on't?"
"Yer white sun-bonnet plumb off an' a-hangin' down on yer shoulders, an' yer yaller hair all a-blowsin' at loose eends, stiddier bein' plaited up stiff an' tight an' personable, an' yer face burned pink in the sun, stiddier like yer skin ginerally looks, fine an' white ez a pan o' fraish milk, an' the flabby, slinksy skirt o' that yaller calico dress 'thout no starch in it, a-flappin' an' whirlin' in the wind shucks!
No, my friend, says I, 'the meat that's at the top of the barrel, is sometimes not so good as that that's a little further down; the upper and lower eends are plaguy apt to have a little taint in 'em, but the middle is always good. Our folks will insure all creation for half nothin', but I never heerd tell of a country being insured agin rich men.
Well, if there warnt a jam you may depend some one give me a pull, and I near abouts went heels up over head, so I reached out both hands, and caught hold of the first thing I could, and what should it be but a lady's dress well, as I'm alive, rip went the frock, and tare goes the petticoat, and when I righted myself from my beam eends, away they all came home to me, and there she was, the pretty critter, with all her upper riggin standin as far as her waist, and nothin left below but a short linen under garment.
But jest when I'd got ready, the ducks had floated down with the stream, and dropped behind the pint so I downed on my knees, and crawled, and Dash along side on me, for all the world as if the darned dog knowed; well, I crawled quite a piece, till I'd got under a bit of alder bush, and then I seen them all in a lump like, except two six ducks and a big drake feedin', and stickin' down their heads into the weeds, and flutterin' up their hinder eends, and chatterin' and jokin' I could have covered them all with a handkercher, exceptin' two, as I said afore, one duck and the little drake, and they was off a rod or better from the rest, at the two different sides of the stream the big bunch warn't over ten rods off me, nor so far; so I tuck sight right at the big drake's neck.
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