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Updated: June 10, 2025
There is nobody so good to you as I am, Drum; and you are very crusty at times, you know. Your daughter shall be the head cook; and then everything must be to your liking." "Master Lancelot, you speaks fair. What can I have the honor of doing for you, Sir, to set you up again in your poor dear 'ealth?" "Well, you hate physic, don't you, Drum? And you make a strict point of never taking it."
"No," continued Joe, pouring out the wine; "you 'aven't got the brass in times like these. I dare say you've noticed, sir, that the times is favourable for bringing out the spots on the body politic. 'Ere's 'ealth!" "Joe," said Mr. Lavender, raising the glass to his lips with solemnity, "I wish you a most happy and prosperous life.
"One of the worst as ever I knew, sir," he replied, eying the whiskey bottle and the two half-drained glasses. "'Ad a long march, sir, fourteen miles." I pushed the bottle toward him, and with a deprecatory salute he turned out a stiff drink. "'Ere's to yer 'ealth, sir, an' may ye always 'ave an extra glass ready for a visitor."
You may call it a fine thing to take a blank canvas, and represent the luxurious tresses and the blooming hue of 'ealth upon it, and so do I; but I call it a still higher and nobler act to produce a similar effect upon a human 'ed!" "Isn't that a pretty speech for a young man like him only twenty-seven Mrs. Collum?" exclaimed his admiring aunt.
He purtended he 'ad come in for the sake of old times and to ask arter my 'ealth, and all the time he was doing 'is best to upset me to amuse them two pore objecks 'e 'ad brought with 'im. Capt'in Mellun is his name, and 'e was always a foolish, soft-'eaded sort o' man, and how he 'as kept 'is job I can't think.
They call you Creeping Jesus if you say your prayers, and you can't say them with a girl laughing or singing behind your back, so you think you'll say them to yourself in bed, but sleep comes sooner than you expect, and so you slips out of the habit. Then the drinking. We was brought up teetotal, but they're always pressing it upon you, and to please him I said I would drink the 'orse's 'ealth.
"Good 'ealth," said the fireman, and disposed of his share at a draught. "That's bucked me up wonderful." He lay back in his chair and from a little tobacco-box began to fill a short clay pipe. "Look 'ere, mates, I'm soberin' up, like, after the smoke, an' I can see, I can see plain, as nobody'll ever believe me. Nobody ever does, worse luck, but 'ere goes. Pass the matches."
The tone in which this proposal was made, and the fact that it was the last night of the year, induced Maryann to respond, with gracious condescension: "Well, Richards, I'm agreeable." "Here, then," said Richards, raising his cup on high, "I give you the 'ealth of Mr Larry O'Ale, Mr Bunco, an' all absent friends wishin' 'em luck, an' lots o' gold."
"It warn't for betting she took the plate," said Journeyman; "it was 'cause her chap said if she did he'd marry her." "I wonder you ever left the course," said Stack. "It was on account of my 'ealth. I caught a dreadful cold at Kempton, standing about in the mud. I've never quite got over that cold." "I remember," said Ketley; "you couldn't speak above a whisper for two months."
Ortheris came to the rescue with "Well, 'e won't be none the worse for bringin' liquor with 'im. We ain't a file o' Dooks. We're bloomin' Tommies, ye cantankris Hirishman; an' 'eres your very good 'ealth!" We shot all the forenoon, and killed two pariah-dogs, four green parrots, sitting, one kite by the burning-ghaut, one snake flying, one mud-turtle, and eight crows. Game was plentiful.
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