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The old man and his son went home next day, promising me, if I would but come to see them, "twa hundert acres o' the best partridge-shooting, and wild dooks as plenty as sparrows; and to live in clover till I bust, if I liked." And so, as Bunyan has it, they went on their way, and I saw them no more.
Ortheris came to the rescue with "Well, 'e won't be none the worse for bringin' liquor with 'im. We ain't a file o' Dooks. We're bloomin' Tommies, ye cantankris Hirishman; an' 'eres your very good 'ealth!" We shot all the forenoon, and killed two pariah-dogs, four green parrots, sitting, one kite by the burning-ghaut, one snake flying, one mud-turtle, and eight crows. Game was plentiful.
Regular honey-pot to every passing petticoat you might 'ave been." He broke off, springing erect and shading his eyes with one hand to obtain a better view. "My Sammy whoever's the skipper a bringing 'ome 'ere with him? Dooks and duchesses and all the blamed airistorkracy? English too, or I'm a blooming nigger. Tea for a lidy? I should rather think it.
"Here's to HIM!" he said, lifting his glass, "an' may he teach 'em a lesson earls an' markises an' dooks an' all!" After that night, the two saw each other often, and Mr. Hobbs was much more comfortable and less desolate.
The Parson was breathing deep. "And what then?" "Why, sir, I'd nothin on me ony the dooks me God give me. So I up and I skip it." The Parson leaned out, and smote at the man's shaven skull with the butt-end of his pistol. "Ain't I done right, sir?" squeaked the little man, dodging back. "You've sold us!" cursed the Parson, and he was white even in the moon. "Hush, sir! hush!" cried Kit.
Then, with a more thoughtful eye, he ripped open the letter from his more distinguished contributor, which bore a postmark of Devonshire, and read as follows: DEAR NUTT, As I see you're working Spooks and Dooks at the same time, what about an article on that rum business of the Eyres of Exmoor; or as the old women call it down here, the Devil's Ear of Eyre?
Them's me, with my dooks up. If any friend o' yourn as is interested in the baiby comes to lay a 'and on me I'll see if I've forgot 'ow to use 'em." I felt the colour shuddering out of my cheeks, and putting baby into the cot I turned on the man and cried: "You scoundrel!
I thought you tended to Mrs. Athelstone's rooms and Mr. Brander's storeroom." "Aw, go wan. I'm no second girl, an' de storeroom's never cleaned. Dere's nothin' to clean but a lot of stones an' bum mummies an' such." "Brander can't sell much stuff; I never see anything being shipped." "Oh! I don't know! We sent a couple of embammed dooks to Chicago last week." "And last month?"
"It's called the 'Crime of a Coronet; or, The Revenge of the Countess May. It's a boss thing, too. Some of us boys 're takin' it to read." "Bring it up when you come," said Mr. Hobbs, "an' I'll pay for it. Bring all you can find that have any earls in 'em. If there are n't earls, markises'll do, or dooks though HE never made mention of any dooks or markises.
But the skipper, red-faced and angry, answered, "W'y, yer so-and-so ijits, that's wot the Lord Mayor of London gives about a guinea a hounce for w'en 'e feeds lords n' dooks. Only the haristocracy at 'ome get a charnce to stick their teeth in such grub as that. An' 'ere are you lot a-growlin' at 'avin' it for a change!"
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