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Updated: June 14, 2025
Let us all take hold jintly, and live and dress centsibly, like our forefathers who know'd moren we do, if they warnt quite so honest! There air other cheerin' signs for Ameriky. We don't, for instuns, lack great Gen'rals, and we certinly don't brave sojers but there's one thing I wish we did lack, and that is our present Congress.
Now, I've noticed when I'm cookin' buffler steaks an' deer meat an' wild turkey an' nice, juicy fish, an' cookin' mebbe better than anybody else in all Ameriky kin, how you, Shif'less Sol Hyde, turn plum' green with envy an' begin makin' disrespeckful remarks 'bout me, Jim Hart, who hez too lofty an' noble a natur ever to try to pull you down, poor an' ornery scrub that you be."
"Why you drag 'im like ox, Irish Mike?" cried the younger negro "why you no row 'im like other folk?" "Ah you're as bad as the rest of 'em," growled Mike. "They tould me Ameriky was a mighty warm country, and war-r-m I find it, sure enough, though the wather isn't as warm as good whiskey. Come, ye black divils, and see if ye can coax this contrairy crathure to do as a person wants."
"It agrees with the charts and our reckoning, and I may say it agrees with our eyes also. Here is the Pacific Ocean, plain enough, Mr. Hazard." "So I think, sir, We are at the end of Ameriky, if it has an end anywhere. This heavy long swell is an old acquaintance, though I never was in close enough to see the land, hereabouts, before."
"Not de smallest," replied the negro, with as much emphasis as was possible in a whisper. "Massa hab ride wid de Vaquieros ob Ameriky an' hunt wid de Injuns on de Rockies. No more fear ob deir ketchin' him dan ob ketchin' a streak o' lightnin'. He come back bery soon wid all de news." Moses was a true prophet. Within half-an-hour Van der Kemp returned as noiselessly as he had gone.
Jerry's opinion of the animal was given in words more forcible that elegant; and Hal's purchase was laughed at by all. Many were the bets offered, that Patsey couldn't ride him; but Patsey stoutly asserted he'd "ridden mules in the ould country, and why couldn't he do it in Ameriky?" Shortly after leaving camp, the road crossed a small stream, which we knew could be easily forded.
Thar's whar we're goin'. And the sailors say more uppish than ever: No, we ain't, we ain't goin' to discover Ameriky, thar ain't no sech place, we're goin' right back to Spain. Then a kinder funny look comes into Chris's eye.
In Ameriky, we even put religion before dollars; and if that isn't convincing I'll give it up. Now, I do wish you could see a Sunday once in the Granite State, Signorina Ghita, that you might get some notion what our western religion ra'ally is." "All real religion all real devotion to God is, or ought to be, the same, Signor Ithuello, whether in the east or in the west.
"Oh, Eily, jewil, don't say that! don't!" he pleaded, his blue eyes looking earnestly into hers. "Whin ye go, you will take all the sunshine out of me poor heart; it's to Ameriky I will go, for nothin' will be the same to me without you, mavourneen! Eily, Eily, will ye stay?" But Eily was firm. "Faith, thin, I will not, Dermot! I'm weary of my life here; I want to see London and the world.
'Dis is our berloved Ameriky! sez I, 'where no tyrant's heel is ever knowed, sez I, 'where all men is ekal, sez I, 'an' where we, feller-citerzens, un'er de gallorious banner of REFORM an' at dat word, dey all jes' got up on deir feet an' stamped, an' yelled, an' waved deir hats an' coats till you'd er t'ought dey was a Legislatur' of lunatics.
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