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Updated: April 30, 2025
Fred's was approachin: in an evil hour he began making TIME-BARGINGS. Let this be a warning to all young fellers, and Fred's huntimely hend hoperate on them in a moral pint of vu! I promise you there was no Marsally THERE. "Nex day they were up at 3 1/4. This put Fred in a rage: they rose to 5, he was in a fewry. 'What an ass I was to sell, said he, 'when all this money was to be won!
But figgers won't lie noways, and it's figgers that shows this yer to be the last yer of the world, and that the final eend of all things is approachin'. I don't ask you to listen to no 'mpressions of me own, to no reasonin' of nobody; all I ask is that you should listen to the voice of the man in the linen-coat what spoke to Dan'el, and then listen to the voice of the 'rithmetic, and to a sum in simple addition, the simplest sort of addition."
And as I resoomed my work, he went on: "Now, you imagine how you would feel, Samantha Allen, if you had bought a big elephant, bigger than Jumbo, and you knew it wuz on its way here, approachin' nearer and nearer had got as fur as Old Bobbet's, and we hadn't a place to put it in that wuz suitable and strong enough we couldn't git her head hardly in the stable, we couldn't leave her out doors to rampage round and step over barns and knock down housen, and we couldn't git it offen our hands any way, kill it, or give it away how would you feel?"
You know we aren't prefects." "You threatened us with a prefect's lickin' just now," said Beetle, boldly inventing as he saw the bewilderment in the faces of the enemy. "And if you expect you'll gain anything from us by your way of approachin' us, you're jolly well mistaken. That's all. Good-night." They clattered upstairs, injured virtue on every inch of their backs.
But I am a good deal in hopes they will," sez I; "I am hopin' that Uncle Sam will foller my advice and the advice of other wellwishers of the human race I see signs on't." "Well," sez Arvilly, "you have fursightener specs than I have, if you can see it." And I sez, "You lay your ear to the ground, Arvilly, and you'll hear the sound of a great approachin' army.
"Don't you have any sech hopes, Frank; thar's no chance o' that I kin see what the party air arter. They've made up thar mind not to 'tempt goin' inter the gully till they hev a trifle o' shadder aroun' them. They think that ef they're seen afore they git up to the house their victims might 'scape 'em. Tharfor they purpiss approachin' the shanty unobserved, and makin' a surround o' it.
He looked alarmed. "What do you mean, Samantha?" sez he. "I won't let you go ahead of me in sacrificing yourself, Josiah. No, I will go fur ahead of what you or anybody else would do; it will most probable kill me, but I shall not falter." "What is it, Samantha?" sez he, droppin' the fan and approachin' me with agitated mean. "What are you goin' to do?
"Wall, if it is too late I am not to blame. I've warned you. Farewell," sez he, a graspin' holt of Josiah's hand. "Farewell, forever. But if you do live," sez he, "if by a miricle you are saved, remember the Live-forever spring. If there is any help for you it is in them waters." And he dashed away, for another stranger wuz approachin' the seen.
And though Josiah squirmed some when I told him Lodema wuz approachin' and would be there that very night or the next day still the cloud wore away and melted off in the glowin' mellowness of the hot tea and cream, the delicious oysters and other good things. My pardner, though, as he often says, is not a epicack, still he duz enjoy good vittles dretful well and appreciates 'em.
It got to be noon. Still no Barry Crane. I was just wonderin' when that trolley car was due for a return trip and was workin' up a few cuttin' remarks to hand Vee when I got her on the long distance, when I hears something approachin' from down the road. First off I thought it might be one of these hay mowers runnin' wild, but pretty soon out of a cloud of dust jumps a little roadster.
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