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Updated: June 26, 2025
This was barely settled when there came a sharp rap on the door. "Git under cover quick!" hissed Tad. "That must be one of 'em!" Tad and Hans made haste to squeeze in behind the organ, and Frank crept under the sofa. "Shimminy Gristmas!" muttered the Dutch lad, "uf id don'd peen britty tight blace here den I ton't know somedings."
The wife of a successful young literary man had hired a buxom Dutch girl to do the housework. Several weeks passed and from seeing her master constantly about the house, the girl received an erroneous impression. "Ogscuse me, Mrs. Blank," she said to her mistress one day, "but I like to say somedings." "Well, Rena?"
"Goot! You hear vot Kentucky speaks, all you noddleheads? Now I talk mit Bill. You know der piziness, Bill, und you hang me up brown, eh? Vot you say?" "'Betcher life, an', Jan, if yeh don't give no more trouble ye'll be almighty proud of the job. I'm a connesoor." "You haf der great head, Bill, und know somedings or two. Und you know two und one makes tree ain't it?" Bill nodded.
I felt relieved; a revenge so practical did not seem very malicious or idiotic. After a pause he puffed contemplatively at his pipe, and then said, "I dell you somedings of dot story now." He began. I should like to tell it in his own particular English, mixed with American slang, but it would not convey the simplicity of the narrator.
"This is what I call living!" yelled Tom and diving under, he caught Hans by the big toe. "Hi, hi! let go mine does!" shrieked the German lad. "Somedings has me py der does cotched!" "Maybe it's a shark," suggested Fred. "A shark! Vos der sharks py der Ohio River?" "Tons of them," came from Sam. "Look out, Hansy, or they'll swallow you." "Du meine Zeit!" gasped the German cadet.
At this moment Bascomb clapped his thigh and cried: "That's the scheme! That will do it!" "Uf dot don'd mean somedings, Parney, you vos a liar!" exclaimed Hans. "Av course it do." "I pelief me dot means drouble vor Frankie." "Oi wouldn't wonder, Handy." "You und me hat pesser dell him to keep his vedder eye vide open tight, ain'd id?" "Thot's pwhat we will, me b'y.
Shust as ve make a big catch, und all honest, somedings go wrong, und der Russians nab us, dake our skins and our schooner, und send us mit der anarchists to Siberia. Ach! a pretty pad piziness!" "Yes, that's where it hurts," the sea lawyer went on. "Fifteen hundred skins in the salt piles, and all honest, a big pay-day coming to every man Jack of us, and then to be captured and lose it all!
"Then you were there until midnight last night?" "More later than that yet." "Was there any movement of any sort about Hume's place? Did you see or hear anything?" The great red face of Berg took on a solemn look. "It is maybe not ride that I should say somedings," complained he. "But if the law will not excuse me, I will say it, if it makes some more trouble or not."
He found his family had heard of the loss of the Englishman and the guides, and had believed he was one of them. Already he was forgotten. "Ven you vos once peliefed to be det," said Rutli, after a philosophic pause and puff, "it vos not goot to ondeceif beoples. You oopset somedings, soomdimes always.
But Bertha, an undistinguishable heap on the floor of the unlit room, only gasped brokenly for breath and wept on. "Ach, ach, ach, lieber Gott in Himmel!" sobbed Bertha. "Why didn't Toby come for me? Ach, ach! What iss happened mit Toby? Somedings iss happened I know ut!" "Ya, ya!" jibed Gratz; "somedings iss heppened, I bet you! Brop'ly he's got anoder vife, dod's vot heppened!
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