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Updated: June 13, 2025
"Well, ARE you a perfessor?" "Oh, I'm anything at all that will get me this 'job. I've got to have it as a makeshift until I can get hold of something better. Let me see will a Baptist do?" "Are you a Baptist?" the girl stolidly asked. "When circumstances are pressing. Will they be satisfied with a Baptist?" "That's one of the fashionable churches of the world," Amanda replied gravely.
Apparently he was looked upon as something of a wag, for he was interrupted frequently by laughter. His voice carried distinctly. "Gents an' fel ler citizens," he began, striking an oratorical attitude, "we now comes to the next num ber on the program, the which is costin' a lot o' cold coin. Fif ty thous and dollars, gents, is what it costs to have the Perfessor put on his little stunt.
"Say, Bangs," demanded he, eagerly, "do you mean you've still got that six hundred and fifty Development? Mean you ain't turned 'em over yet to anybody else?" "Eh? Why, no, Mr. Pulcifer, I haven't ah turned them over to any one else." "Good! Fust-rate! Fine and dandy! You and me can trade yet. You're all right, Perfessor, you are.
Seems like th' ship done wanted me t' go 'long, an' I'm goin'. I'll take my chances on bein' buried alive. I ain't never seen th' centre of th' earth, an' I want's to 'fore I die. I'm goin' 'long, Perfessor!" "WELL, I'm glad you've decided at last," the professor remarked. "Now come inside and we'll see how the ship works."
And I was anxious to see what Providence's ideas of right and wrong was like. So fur as I could see they was all three in the wrong, but if I had of been in there running them pills in Providence's place I would of let them all off kind o' easy. Henry, he ain't eat his pill yet. He is jest looking at it and shaking. The perfessor pulls out his watch and lays it on the table.
I want you to know that I am still a strong, active member of the M. E. meetin' house, but at the same time," sez he, "if I if there spozein' there wuz, as it were, some modifications and conveniences that would help a Christian perfessor along, I don't know as I would be to blame to avail myself of 'em." Sez I, "If you're guiltless what makes you look so meachin?"
In the silence that followed Pete's rather rasping voice was heard "I ain't got no best girl!" "Ye're in luck," groaned Dan. "This may break pore Mame's heart. When I'm gone, she'll remember that onst I was the greatest thing on this green earth to her." Presently Pete remarked: "Surgeon an' pathologist is the Perfessor." "Meanin'?" "Like as not he'll operate." "Operate?"
The meeting was that of old friends, with the addition of a blush from Bess Bangem and its bright reflection from the Professor's face. Tim Price took the colonel to one side mysteriously, and whispered, "I took keer uv the Perfessor my own self: he guv me a power uv trouble, though. Shell I hitch him now, er let him run loose?"
Constable Mack sat up in the dust, and stared stupidly at the Missing Link. "Blarst me if it ain't Perfessor Thunder's man-monkey!" he said. "Yes, yes," gasped Nickie. "Run me in. Be quick about it." The crowd was forming about them, only refraining from using missiles out of respect for the law. "Be th' holy, th' baste can spheak!" murmured the policemen. "They'll kill me.
And when she was done listening she says to the perfessor: "You had better go back to your laboratory." And the perfessor he went along out, and the doctor with him. "What are you going to do with him, Aunt Estelle?" the kid asts her. "What would YOU suggest, William, Dear?" asts his aunt.
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