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Updated: June 21, 2025
Never does I witness action so sudden an' complete! It's shore the sharpest! The top kyard as the deck lays in the box is a ten-spot. An' as the papers is shoved forth, how do you-all reckon they falls! I'm a Mexican! if they don't come seven-king! This Holliday wins all along; Cherokee is out thirty thousand an' only three kyards showed! How's that for perishin' flesh an' blood!
"Malviny Higgins tossed her head an' giv me one uv her witherinest looks, but I'm not one uv the perishin' kind, so I kep on a' musin'. "'It's wonderful what a difference there is between sellin' by the poun' an' the barrel, sez I. 'It's unfortunet that there's only one way to the heavenly country, an' it's a limited express with no Pullman attached.
'She kenned me weel eneuch. She ca'd me by my ain as weel 's ither names. 'Ye're jist croonin my arguyment, Francie! Yer mither's jist perishin o' drink! She drinks and drinks, and, by what I hear, cares for noucht else. A' 's upo' the ro'd to ruin in her and aboot her. She hasna the brains noo, gien ever she bed them, to guide hersel.
Just before reaching the Longman cabin, she raised her voice and sang again, "Rescue the perishin', Care for the dyin'." Some one opened the door and she bounded in. "Glad ye come, Tessibel," said Mrs. Longman, a small wizened old woman. "The brat air sick to-day. He does nothin' but squall so that my head air a bustin' the hours through. Give him to Tessibel, Myry."
"'Niquity yerself!" snarled the Old Un, and snapping bony finger and thumb under Joe's massive chin, turned and went on up the stairs, his smart straw hat cocked at a defiant angle, his brilliant shoes creaking loudly at every step. "Oh, Gorramighty!" he panted, halting suddenly on the fifth landing to get his breath, "these perishin' stairs 'as ketched my wind, Joe; it's worse 'n th' treadmill!
"They be arrayed now," sez Arvilly. "Selfishness and Greed are arrayed aginst Justice and Humanity, and the baby Peace is bein' trompled on and run over, and haggard Want and Famine prowl on the bare fields of Poverty, waitin' for victims, and the cries of the perishin' fill the air." Arvilly turned real eloquent.
Misses Pearsons made a idol of her baby, a kissin' it and huggin' it every minute, and I said, says I, Misses Pearsons, you hadn't better make a idol of a perishin' creature. And sure enough, God tuck it. He's jealous of our idols. But I can't help helpin' you. You're a onbeliever yet yourself, and I 'low taint no sin fer you to marry Gus. It's yokin' like with like.
"That's along of you eatin' lobster for supper last night," said the Ship's Painter, a sceptic who had a sovereign on a race not mentioned by the Captain of the Forecastle's wife. "Wot about the perishin' Boys' Cutters? Didn't your old Dutch say nothin' about them?" The seer shook his head and performed intricate evolutions with a pin in the cavernous recesses of his mouth.
Wrenn as a housewife does a cockroach in the salad-bowl. Mr. Wrenn was bored. This seemed a very poor sort of man; a bloated Cockney, with a dirty neck-cloth, vile cuffs of grayish black, and a waistcoat cut foolishly high. "The owner said I could sleep here," he snapped. "Ow. 'E did, did 'e? 'E ayn't been giving you any of the perishin' 'osses, too, 'as 'e?"
'We did, I admits, 'just one little chunk the size of a red apple and it weighed near a couple of ton whilst we was perishin' for water. But we stuck to it closer than a rich brother-in-law, says I. 'You been had! jeers Pete. 'What kind of talk is this? You caught that off o' Thorpe, over on the Malibu you been had! Talk United States!
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