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Updated: May 21, 2025
Bacheldor hesitated. "Say," he went on, "you couldn't let me have two or three cartridges, could you? I ain't got none in the house." Isaiah looked more doubtful than ever, but he brought the cartridges. After making sure, by inquiry and inspection, that they were loaded, the borrower started to go. "Oh, I say, Ab," Mr. Chase called after him; "know whose cat 'twas?" Mr.
"In his britches pockets, and he don't scurcely speak a word for hours at a stretch. And they're up all times of the night, fussin' over account books and writin' letters and I don't know what all. It's plain enough what's comin'. Everybody in town is on to it. Why, I was up to the store t'other day settin' outside on the steps and Ab Bacheldor came along.
The suddenness of the attack knocked his defenses flat. He gurgled, stammered, and then broke into a wail of distress. "I I didn't mean to," he sobbed, wildly. "'Twas her. She said do it; I never. "Why, Jimmie Bacheldor!" exclaimed Mary-'Gusta, shocked into protest by her fellow culprit's distortion of the truth. "How can you say so! What a story! You know " "I guess he knows," broke in Shadrach.
Why, one time she took a notion she'd keep boarders and Henry Ryder, that drives the fruit cart, he started to board there. But he only stayed two days. The fust day they had biled eggs and the next day they had soup made out of the shells. Course that probably ain't true Henry's an awful liar but all the same " "Never mind Henry Ryder, or Abner Bacheldor, either," interrupted Mary.
"Humph!" sniffed Captain Shad. "So Jimmie Bacheldor made you think, eh? I never should have expected it from one of that tribe. How'd he do it?" "He asked me about my relations," said Mary-'Gusta, "and when I said I hadn't got any he was awful surprised. He has ever so many, sisters and brothers and aunts and cousins and Oh, everything. He thought 'twas dreadful funny my not havin' any.
He wuz a bacheldor, and we could all see plain that Miss Plank held his price almost above rubies. If there wuz any good bits among vittles that wuz always good, it wuz Miss Plank's desire that he should have them bits; if there wuz drafts a-comin' from any pint of the compass, it wuz Miss Plank's desire to not have him blowed on.
They wuz dretful troublesome and worrisome to the rest of the boarders, but Mr. Freeman could quell 'em down any time sometimes by lookin' at 'em and smilin', and sometimes by lookin' stern, and sometimes by candy and oranges. I declare for't, as I told Miss Plank sometimes, I didn't know what we would have done durin' some hot meal times if it hadn't been for that blessed bacheldor.
He hesitated an instant, glanced at the Captain, and then added: "I tell you what you do: you just pretend I'm your relation, a well, an uncle, that's better'n nothin'. You just call me 'Uncle Zoeth. That'll be a start, anyhow. Think you'd like to call me 'Uncle Zoeth'?" Mary-'Gusta's eyes shone. "Oh, yes!" she cried. "Then I could tell that Jimmie Bacheldor I had one relation, anyhow.
"Cap'n Gould," she said, "please ask him what time it was yesterday afternoon when he saw the cat run off with the chicken." Bacheldor did not wait to be asked. "'Twas quarter-past four yesterday afternoon," he declared. "I know the time." "I don't see what the time's got to do with it," put in Shadrach. "But it's got everything to do with it," urged Mary-'Gusta. "Honest truly it has."
"WHAT? 'Rastus Young PAID you?" "Well, I don't know's he paid it, exactly. He borrowed the dollar of one of those summer fellers over at Cahoon's boardin' house and he was tellin' Ab Bacheldor about it at the corner by the post-office. Ab, naturally, didn't believe any sane man would lend Rastus anything, so he wanted proof.
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