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Updated: August 6, 2024
'There was a long pause, and O'Flaherty stared a very frightened and hideous stare at the proprietor of the red quarto. 'Not what, Thir? demanded Puddock, briskly, but plainly disconcerted. 'Not anything anything bad or, or there's no use in purtendin', Puddock, he resumed, turning quite yellow. 'I see, Sir, I see by your looks, it's what you think, I'm poisoned!
It is a long walk to the cemetery, but we reached it to find Billy seated on the steps that lead over the fence, still shielded by his hairy envelope. "A tough case!" he whispered as we sat by him. "Our man has his spies out, and my every step is dogged both night and day." "Indeed?" we asked. "You know that slim little duck that got in last night, purtendin' he's a shoe-drummer?
"Well, I ain't purtendin' to any stratutegical smartness, and I didn't gradooate at West Point as one of those Apocryphal Engineers; I don't do much talking about 'flank' movements or 'recognizances in force' or 'Ekellon skirmishing, but when it comes down to square Ingin fightin', I reckon I kin have my say.
"'Mellican man plenty playee to him Joss after eatin', sez he; 'but Chinaman smellee punk, allee same, and no hab got. "I knew the slimy cuss was just purtendin' he thought I was prayin' to my Joss, but I was that weak I hadn't stren'th, boys, to heave a rock at him. Yet it gave me an idea." "What was it?" they asked eagerly.
Ye hev got it a sight mo' at heart than yer brother. Fur thar war Wat, all twisted up at the small e-end o' the tellingscope, purtendin' ter be on mighty close terms with the comic, though lots o' other men said it jes' dazed thar eyes, an' they couldn't see nuthin' through it, an' mighty leetle arterward through sightin' so long one-eyed."
"There warn't nothin' true at all. There bean't no mother-in-law, nor wife, nor nothin'; there warn't even any chap with the long whiskers, for it warn't hisself at all, though he said it was that t'other one shook han's with me, and said I'd give him a big compliment. 'Twas all purtendin' an' makin' b'lieve.
'I tell you what, Puddock there's no use in purtendin' the poison's working that's what's the matter, returned poor O'Flaherty, in what romance writers call 'a hissing whisper.
"I do confess to feelin' raither ashamed o' myself, but you mustn't be hard on me, lads, for circumstances alters cases, you know, as Solomon said leastwise if it warn't him it was Job or somebody else. The fact is, I've bin shammin', mates!" "Shamming!" "Ay, shammin' weak. Purtendin' that I was shaky on the legs, an' so not quite up to the cargo they were puttin' aboard o' me."
"'Are you that? sez I; 'thin I'm O'Connell the Dictator, an' by this you will larn to kape a civil tongue in your rag-box. "Wid that I stretched Scrub Greene an' wint to the orf'cer's tent. 'Twas a new little bhoy not wan I'd iver seen before. He was sittin' in his tent, purtendin' not to 'ave ear av the racket. "I saluted but for the life av me! mint to shake hands whin I went in.
"Ye think mo' o' him 'n o' me, kase ye 'low he air rich, an' book-larned, an' smooth-fingered, an' fini-fied ez a gal, an' goin' ter buy the hotel. I say, hotel! Now I'll tell ye what he is I'll tell ye! He's a criminal. He's runnin' from the law. He's hidin' in the old hotel that he's purtendin' ter buy." She stared wide-eyed and pallid, breathless and waiting.
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