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Updated: June 1, 2025
"As I com alang I saw yan of Angus Ray haystacks blown flat on to the field doon it went in a bash in ya bash frae top to bottom." "That minds me of Mother Garth and auld Wilson haycocks," said Matthew. "Why, what was that?" said Reuben. "Deary me, what thoo minds it weel eneuf. It was the day Wilson was cocking Angus hay in the low meedow.
'The chilt looks as thoo she'd been fed on spiders or frogs, or summat o' that soart. At this moment David came in, just in time to prevent another explosion from Louie.
Didst thoo not tak what thoo called the oath of abjuration agen the King five years agone? Didst thoo not? Ey? And didst thoo not come round and ask ivery man on us to do the same?" The clergyman looked confounded. He dropped his knife and, unable to make a rejoinder, turned to those about him and said, in a tone of amazement, "Did you ever hear the like?"
On the return visit, her skinny dog met me with elaborate demonstrations of welcome. "Guan way fum here Spot. Dat gemmen ain gwine feed you nothin. You keep your dirty paws offen his clothes." Mama duck sat down on a rickety box, motioning me to another one on the shaky old porch. "Take keer you doan fall thoo dat old floor," she cautioned.
Well, when the rector had got thoo an' he had wropped up his robes an' put 'em in his wallet, an' had told us to prepare for conformation, he pernounced a blessin' upon us an' went.
"Look here, white folks," began the negro, "Ah don't want no trouble, but youall mustn't go rangin' aroun' thoo mah place like this here 'thout 'splainin' yourselfs. This is mah fahm." "Yes, it is your farm," cried Frank. "You've got as many farms as a hen's got teeth! All your farms are in your mind!" "Nemmine about dat, boys," grinned the black.
For my wife she's sick an a' dwinnelt away, and I'm gettin' auld, and can't wark as I'd used to, and it did luke to me as thoo there was naethin' afore us nobbut t' Union. And t' mist war low on t' fells, and I sat oonder t' wall, wettish and broodin' like. And theer all ov a soodent the Lord found me! Yes, puir Reuben Judge, as dawn't matter to naebody, the Lord found un.
Whan a body disna ken yer wull, she's jist driven to distraction. Thoo knows, my Maister, as weel's I can tell ye, 'at gien ye said till me, 'That man's gauin' to cut yer thro't: tak the tows frae him, an' lat him up, I wad rin to dee't. It's no revenge, Lord; it's jist 'at I dinna ken. The man's dune me no ill, 'cep' as he's sair hurtit yer bonnie Gibbie.
Parson, he looked half like ez ef he'd laugh once-t. When he had thess opened his book and started to speak, a sudden streak o' sunshine shot out an' the rain started to ease up, an' it looked for a minute ez ef he was goin' to lose the baptismal waters. But d'rec'ly it come down stiddy ag'in an he' went thoo the programme entire.
A loud burst of laughter rewarded this attempt on the life of the tragic muse. "Art thou not Romeo and a Montague?" and the alleged Romeo on his knees replied, "Nowther, sweet lass, if owther thoo offend," the laughter in the auditorium reached the point of frantic screams.
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