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Updated: May 31, 2025
Course, I don't figure out no awful slump in Corrugated stocks if I should get pettish some day and tell 'em they'd got to find a new office boy. That ain't the kind of shredded thought I'm feedin' on. I fit into a lot of places besides the chair behind the brass gate. Why, I have to put on a sub. three or four times a week, while I'm spreadin' myself out all over the lot.
Now, I mistrust Uncle Salters fer the Jonerest Jonah in the Fleet regardin' his own special luck. Dunno ef it's spreadin' same's smallpox. He ought to be on the Carrie Pitman. That boat's her own Jonah, sure crews an' gear made no differ to her driftin'. Jiminy Christmas! She'll etch loose in a flat ca'am." "We're well clear o' the Fleet, anyway," said Disko. "Carrie Pitman an' all."
Take the real native-son brand of Friscoite, an' he'll tell you 'at Frisco an' Paradise are sunonomous. I used to like to argue 'em out about it. One day I had a thirty-third degree one pointin' his finger in my eye an' beatin' his palm with his fist, an' spreadin' himself somethin' gorgeous.
"How about a nice quiet dinner at the club?" says Barry. "That don't listen so bad," says I. And it wasn't, either. Barry insists on spreadin' himself with the orderin', and don't even complain about havin' to chase out to the bar to take his drinks, on account of my being in uniform. "Makes me feel as if I were doing my bit, you know," says he.
If the' 's a single bird in Wyoming, you can find it hoppin' about his narrow bed or singin' in the oak tree 'at stands above him, spreadin' out its branches like a priest givin' the blessin'. Winter or summer, Monody's grave is the quietest, peacefullest, purtiest spot 'at lies outdoors, as if the old Earth had repented of the way it had treated him, and was tryin' to make it up to him now.
It was his grandfather's horn, then, Jason had heard. The lad turned to go, and the old circuit rider rose to his full height. "Come in, boy. Yo' grandpap had better be a-thinkin' about spreadin' the wings of his immortal sperit, stid o' shakin' them feet o' clay o' his'n an' a-settin' a bad example to the young an' errin'!" "Hush up!" said the old woman.
"I don't want to be helpin'. I want to be doin' mesilf," objected Jim. "And what will you be doin'?" asked the widow. "You're full short for spreadin' bedclothes, for though nine years makes a b'y plinty big enough for some things, it laves him a bit small for others. You can't be cookin' yet, nor sweepin', nor even loightin' fires. But you shall be doin', since doin's what you want.
But towards mornin' I had a beautiful vision: my pardner and me wuz bore back to Jonesville, and sot in our own door yard under a spreadin' geranium tree, and Sister Bobbett stood admirin'ly before me with a tea-cup in her hand, beggin' for a slip from the immense branches. It wuz a sweet dream, and I waked up refreshed.
You see, the Gophertown outfit are all what you'd call good with a gun, but it was kind of a surprise, the spreadin' of the thing from Red's little private deal to a six-hand game. We sure was lucky." "And Collie?" Williams shook his head. "I don't know. We thought he had crossed over. Seems he took a new holt. The doc and Winthrop brung him to Los in the automobile. He's at the hospital.
"But, Uncle Remus," said the little boy, dolefully, "that was cheating." "Co'se, honey. De creeturs 'gun ter cheat, en den fokes tuck it up, en hit keep on spreadin'. Hit mighty ketchin', en you mine yo' eye, honey, dat somebody don't cheat you 'fo' yo' ha'r git gray ez de ole nigger's."
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