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Updated: June 9, 2025
"It's early yet," said the Major, glancing at the clock. "I seldom turn in before eleven." "I'm going to turn in now," said Meldon. "I'd be better in bed, for I can't sleep here with the way you're snoring. I just woke you up to say that I'll get a hold of Simpkins some time to-morrow and settle things with him.
"Well, Joel Simpkins thought 'twas the funniest thing that I should be buying something when father was not with me, and he asked just every question that he could think of except one. He didn't ask me where I got my money, and I do believe he would have asked me that if you hadn't come in just when you did." "O Randy, it's a funny sight to see you provoked," said Jotham with a hearty laugh.
If he's had any luck at all this morning he'll have forgotten about the paraffin oil before I get to him. Good-morning, Miss King. Don't believe all the Major says about Mr. Simpkins. There's no one I know who's fairer-minded in a general way than the Major. But in the case of Mr. Simpkins he's regularly warped, and you ought not to take any notice of what he may have said."
It is true that they are very rarely arrested by clergymen, but it is on record of the most famous of all detectives that he once assumed the dress of a clergyman as a disguise. The lady who was serving when Meldon interrupted the game had read the history of that detective's life. She looked at Simpkins with awed horror. Simpkins wriggled uncomfortably on his ladder.
After a while Simpkins appeared an elderly bald man in a dress suit, who was evidently the butler. "Simpkins," said Aunt May, "there will be two more to lunch, and there's a caravan at the back belonging to this gentleman here," indicating Gregory, who immediately grew three inches all over, "and please give the driver a good dinner." "And, Simpkins," said Aunt May, "take Mr.
"I expect," said Meldon, "that he's simply trying to make you do your work, and a hard job he has of it." "Any way, it's what I'm not accustomed to; and what's more, won't stand." "You'll have to stand it for a while more, any way. That's what I want to impress on your mind. I can't have a word said against Mr. Simpkins, in the presence of Miss King." "The young lady there?"
What a perfect brainless-looking idiot. But excuse me, old fellow, I didn't know your wife was a widow when you married her." "She wasn't," said Simpkins stiffly. "That, sir, is a portrait of myself at the age of twenty."
"In about ten days, I think. My mother is rather unwell, only a bad cold. But I like to be at Folkestone to help Mrs. Simpkins." "Susan, what an extraordinary person you are!" "Why?" "You are. But you are so extraordinary that I could never make you see why. Sandringham and Mrs. Simpkins! There is no one like you." She branched off to various topics, but presently returned to the Algerian visit.
But what's the talk?" he ended, as he turned his head and looked at his wife, who really was the source of all his information. "Why," replied Mrs. Slogan, with undisguised satisfaction in her tone, "Mis' Simpkins says Westerfelt is goin' with Ab Lithicum's daughter Lizzie." "Well," said Slogan, with a short, gurgling laugh, "what's wrong with that?
We had to dig jolly deep to get the posts to stand up, but the gardener helped us. Then the girls made wreaths of white flowers, roses and Canterbury bells, and lilies and pinks, and sweet-peas and daisies, and put them over the posts. And I think if Bill Simpkins had known how sorry we were, he would have been glad.
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