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"He tires America dretful, Ward duz, and I spoze like as not he'd be still more tuckerin' to Spain, not bein' used to him, and then, too, she's smaller, Spain is, and mebby can't stand so much countin' and actin'. So, as I said to Josiah, 'The Infanty is a-havin' a hard time on't with the Ward McAllisters of society; for, sez I, 'Though she has set 'em a pattern of simple courtesy and good manners every time she's had a chance, I knew them four hundred well enough to know that it wouldn't be took. I knew that the American Republic, as showed out by Ward McAllister and his 'postles, wouldn't be contented to use the simple, quiet courtesy of a Royal Princess.
And I d'no why I should a thought on it this mornin' more'n another one only it wuz jest such a day as Josiah and Thomas Jefferson always took for goin' a-fishin' in the creek back of Jonesville. And then we had fish for breakfast too siscoes mebby that put me in mind on it some. But anyway, I wuz always interested in the subject of fishin', and the hull world is. For what wuz the Postles?
If he was baked he mout do. In Africa dey is hannibals and eat dere prisoners, but den dey bake or roast 'em, but stew him, Massa! by golly he will pyson you, as sure as 'postles. My dear ole missus died from only eaten hogs wid dere heads on." "Hogs!" said I. "Yes, Massa, in course, hogs wid dere heads on. Oh, she was a most a beautiful cook, but she was fizzled out by bad cookery at de last."
The men's faces was all covered with hare and they lookt half-starved to deth. Their pockets was filled with tracks and pamplits and they was bare-footed. They sed the Postles didn't wear boots, & why should they? That was their stile of argyment. The wimin was wuss than the men. They wore trowsis, short gownds, straw hats with green ribbins, and all carried bloo cotton umbrellers.
"And while Ward and his 'postles was drawed up in a line on one side of the ball-room, and not dastin' to move hand or foot for fear they wouldn't be moved genteel, you got dead tired a-waitin' for 'em to make a move of some kind. "It wuz a weary, tuckerin' sight to America and me, and must have been dretful for you to gone through.
They wuz real pretty girls, with white veils on over their dark hair, their lustrous eyes lookin' out at us as they might have looked at the Postles. And there wuz cunnin' little donkeys that anybody could ride if they wanted to, and camels with gorgeous trappings kneelin' down ready for folks to mount and be carried 'round the streets.
What yer s'pose dem fer, 'Liab? Dunno? I should tink not. House logs fer de church, 'Liab. Make it jes ez big ez yer wants. Dar 'tis. Only gib me some few shingles an' a flo', an' dar yer hev jes ez good a church ez de 'postles ebber hed ter preach in." "An' de school, Nimbus?" timidly. "Shuah 'nough. Why I nebber tink ob dat afo'? An' you de teacher! Now you is talkin', 'Liab, certain shuah!
You see I've got a cousin what reads a sight, and one day he says to me, 'Nat, in a book I see somethin' about a set of spoons with a 'postle's head on each of 'em; you make some and they'll sell, I bet. So I got gramper's Bible, found the picters of the 'postles, and worked and worked till I got the faces good; and now it's fun, for they do sell, and I'm savin' up a lot.
You black Sambo," continued he, pointing to a man in the corner, "ab very fine boat, go out all day, catch fly-fish, bring um back, fry um, and sell for money; but when you send to me? not one little fish ebber find way to my mouth. What I tell you 'bout Peter and 'postles all fishermen; good men, give 'way to poor.
Ginral Taylor was a standin on his hed and Wingfield Skott's koat tales ware pind over his hed and his trowsis ware kompleetly torn orf frum hisself. My wax works representin the Lord's Last Supper was likewise aboozed. Three of the Postles ware under the table and two of um had on old tarpawlin hats and raggid pee jackits and ware smokin pipes.
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