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Updated: June 5, 2025
It has been truly said that there is no agony like the agony of literary composition, and Mrs. Peagrim was having rather a bad time getting the requisite snap and ginger into her latest communication to the press. She bit her lip, and would have passed her twitching fingers restlessly through her hair but for the thought of the damage which such an action must do to her coiffure.
"Underhill! Is Derek Underhill in America?" "Landed this morning. Routed me out of bed at seven o'clock." "Oh, do you know him, too, Major Selby?" said Mrs Peagrim. "Then I'm sure he must be charming!" "Charming," began Uncle Chris in measured tones, "is an adjective which I cannot . . ." "Well, thanks most awfully," interrupted Freddie. "It's fearfully good of you to let me bring him along.
Peagrim," he began again, "that any sympathy on my part might be due to some deeper emotion which . . . Have you never suspected that you have never suspected . . ." Uncle Chris began to feel that he must brace himself up. Usually a man of fluent speech, he was not at his best tonight.
He had endured much and was prepared to endure more, but he drew the line at squandering his money on the man who had sneaked up behind his brain-child with a hatchet and chopped its precious person into little bits. "He is not a friend of mine," he said stiffly, "and I do not wish him to be invited!" Having attained her main objective, Mrs Peagrim was prepared to yield minor points.
"Good morning," said Uncle Chris breezily, sailing down the fairway with outstretched hand. "How are oh!" He stopped abruptly, perceiving that Mrs Peagrim was not present and a more disturbing discovery that Otis Pilkington was. It would be exaggeration to say that Uncle Chris was embarrassed. That master-mind was never actually embarrassed.
Here Uncle Chris, as he had pictured Mrs Peagrim doing, paused for a moment. "Of course, there would be the preliminaries." "The preliminaries?" Uncle Chris' voice became a melodious coo. He beamed upon Mr Pilkington. "Well, think for yourself, my boy! These things cannot be done without money.
And, having achieved their bringing together, he proceeded to withdraw delicately whence he had come. It is pleasant to be able to record that he was immediately seized upon by Mrs Peagrim, who had changed her mind about not dancing, and led off to be her partner in a fox-trot, in the course of which she trod on his feet three times. "Why, Derek!" said Jill cheerfully.
"You ought not to tire yourself," he said with a difficult tenderness. "I am so fond of dancing," pleaded Mrs Peagrim. Recovering some of her breath, she gazed at her companion with a sort of short-winded archness. "You are always so sympathetic, Major Selby." "Am I?" said Uncle Chris. "Am I?" "You know you are!" Uncle Chris swallowed quickly.
And isn't he getting his share of the profits? Directly after the performance, you must go round and ask him. Of course he will be delighted to give you the stage. I will be hostess," said Mrs. Peagrim radiantly. "And now, let me see, whom shall we invite?" Mr Pilkington stared gloomily at the floor, too bowed down now by his weight of cares to resent the "we," which had plainly come to stay.
"Major Selby, of course," said Mrs Peagrim musingly, with a cooing note in her voice. Long since had that polished man of affairs made a deep impression upon her. "Of course Major Selby, for one. And Mr Rooke. Then there are one or two of my friends who would be hurt if they were left out. How about Mr Mason? Isn't he a friend of yours?" Mr Pilkington snorted.
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