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Updated: June 6, 2025
And it come about that a fortnight after my arm had jined, and I could haul shrouds agin, we sighted the Marquesas, and bein' near about out o' water, the cap'en laid his course for the nearest land, and by daybreak of the second day we lay to in a small harbor, on the south side of an island where ships wa'n't very prompt to go commonly.
Private Tosh, on being confronted with his winter trousseau, observed bitterly "I jined the Airmy for tae be a sojer; but I doot they must have pit me doon as a mountain goat!" Still, though our variegated pelts cause us to resemble an unsuccessful compromise between Esau and an Eskimo, they keep our bodies warm. We wish we could say the same for our feet.
"I wunner ye jined the Airmy at all, M'Slattery," observed one bold spirit, when the orator paused for breath. "I wunner myself," said M'Slattery simply. "If I had kent all aboot this 'attention, and 'stan'-at-ease, and needin' tae luft your hand tae your bunnet whenever you saw yin o' they gentry-pups of officers goin' by, dagont if I'd hae done it, Germans or no!
And Blandina jined in of course and said that if dear Uncle Josiah's mind wuz sot on it it wuz best to go, and she sez kinder low to me, "it wuzn't right to cross a man unless it wuz absolutely necessary."
But all dis time de fuss wuz gwine on, en Mars Jeems, he wuz des eatchin' fer ter put in. Ole Miss en Miss Sally, dey tuck on so he didn't git off de fus' year, but bimeby news come down dat times wuz gittin' putty hot, en Mars Jeems he got up, he did, en say he gotter go, en go he did. He got a overseer fer ter look atter de place, en he went en jined de army.
"So you're a Wiltshireman?" I said. "So am I." And I held out my hand. He drew his own from beneath the bedclothes and held mine in an iron grip. "What might be your parts, sir?" His eyes lighted up with pleasure. "Why, zur, it be nex' parish; I come from B . I be main pleased to zee ye, zur." "The pleasure is mine," I said. "When did you join?" "I jined in July last year, zur. I be a resarvist."
In battle they know no fear, for they know no ball is goin' to kill you if you're predistined to be hung. In the fight they know no stragglers an' fallers from grace. "Ay, but they're brave. I jined 'em Sunday night after the battle of Shiloh, when I saw one of their captains stan' up amid the dead an' dyin' of that bloody field, with the shells from the Yankee gun-boats fallin' aroun' him.
"I certainly would like to hear him," the banker declared, and with Webb he turned toward the gate. "Are you a member of any church?" he inquired, when they were in the road. "No, I never jined one," Webb drawled out. "I'm the only feller I know of in this country that don't affiliate with some denomination or other." "That is rather odd," Mostyn remarked, tentatively.
A climax was put to his confusion, when one of the street arabs, observing the policeman, suddenly exclaimed: "Oh! I say, 'ere's a bobby! What a lark. Won't you be 'ad up before the beaks? It'll be a case o' murder." "No, it won't," retorted the other boy; "it'll be a case o' manslaughter an' attempted suicide jined."
Wild-flowers peeped out in sheltered places; pussy willows bent down and bowed low as they see their pretty faces in the onchained brook; birds sung amongst the pale green shadders of openin' leaves; the west wind jined in the happy chorus. And lo! on lookin' out of our winder before we knowed it, as it were, we see Spring had come! And with the spring come my expected visitor, Faithful Smith.
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