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Updated: May 14, 2025
"Hoo gived Ted the gander's leavin's," put in Joe, seizing his opportunity, and bringing out his joke with a great shout and a vigorous nudge to his nearest neighbour. "Th' owd lad needn't be that set up hoo give him nought but the gander's leavin's, when all's said an' done." "Hoo didn't give thee a drop as how 'tis," retorted Ted.
"Yes," sez I, "it would be uneek, uneeker than will ever come to pass." "Well, I d'no," sez he, "Ury and me could make a crackin' good gondola out of the old stun boat, kinder hist it up in front and whittle out a head on it and a neck some like an old gander's.
'The police have been down at Rolt's stupid fellow left old gander's feet about Mrs. Barker swore to 'em 'cause he'd had so many kicks and bites on common Jesse's took up and peached I've been hiding about all night precious cold it was, and just waiting, you see, to wish you good-bye. Harold, very much shocked, could have dispensed with his farewells, nor did he like the look of his eyes.
Surely it will give us much to talk of in the winter nights, when we three sit by the fire again Captain and Colonel and I. Tim says it is lonely for me here. Lonely? Pshaw! I know the ways of the valley, and there is not a lonely spot in it from the bald top of Thunder Knob to the tall pine on the Gander's head. I would have Tim stay here with me, but he says no.
Thar's a rope stretched from pole to pole, taut an' stiff she's stretched; an' the gander who's the object of the meetin', with his neck an' head greased a heap lavish, is hung from the rope by his two hind laigs. As the gander hangs thar, what Colonel Sterett would style 'the cynosure of every eye, you'll notice that a gent by standin' high in the stirrups can get a grip of the gander's head.
As a gent goes onder the rope he grabs for the gander's head; an' that party who's expert enough to bring it away in his hand, wins the hat full of two-bit pieces yeretofore deescribed. "Which, of course, no gent succeeds the first dash outen the box, as a gander's head is on some good and strong; an' many a saddle gets emptied by virchoo of the back'ard yanks a party gets.
The best that Benny would give, in addition to the bottle, for the blanket and candles, was an old gander, whose stentorian and tell-tale voice he obligingly hushed by chopping off its head. Under cover of the darkness and the storm, "Gibs" succeeded in safely returning to the Barracks but not until his hands and his shirt were reeking with the gander's gore.
I flatly refuse to take the high-minded mountain filly seriously as a tragic heroine, and I confess I hold Finn equally suspect, disguised as a beggar though he is, when he speaks of himself to Grania as a hard man "as hard as a barren step-mother's slap, or a highway gander's gob." After all, in heroic literature, we must have the illusion of the heroic.
"I sang that ditty in Hordle ale-house ere I ever thought to be an archer myself," quoth he. "Fill up your stoups!" cried Black Simon, thrusting his own goblet into the open hogshead in front of him. "Here is a last cup to the White Company, and every brave boy who walks behind the roses of Loring!" "To the wood, the flax, and the gander's wing!" said an old gray-headed archer on the right.
In the first place, she began upbraiding him for his folly in wishing to marry an old maid for her money; she then taxed him with villany, for trying to cheat Anty out of her property; and when he defended himself from that charge by telling her what he had done about the settlement, she asked him how much he had to pay the rogue of a lawyer for that "gander's job". She then proceeded to point out all the difficulties which lay in the way of a marriage between him, Martin, and her, Anty; and showed how mad it was for either of them to think about it.
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