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Updated: May 16, 2025
"If you plaize, sor," he said, pulling his forelock, "the docthor would loike to say yez in the sick bay." "Indeed, Macan," I cried. "Do you know what he wants me for?" "The jintleman we tuk off the wrack's rekivered his sinses, an' none ov us, sure, can under-constubble his furrin lingo barrin' yersilf, sor. So, the docther wants ye fur to say what he's jabberin' about."
Mulligan quit down somewhere in Kentucky; an' th' las' wurruds he was heard to utter was, 'Lay me down, boys, an' save th' flag. An there was manny th' other that had nawthin' to say but to call f'r a docthor; f'r 'tis on'y, d'ye mind, th' heroes that has somethin' writ down on typewriter f'r to sind to th' newspapers whin they move up.
There was too many buryin's thin to ask questions, an' the docthor he ran away wid Major Major Van Dyce's lady that year he saw to ut all. Fwhat the right an' the wrong av Love-o'-Women an' Di'monds-an'- Pearls was I niver knew, an' I will niver know; but I've tould ut as I came acrost ut here an' there in little pieces.
"Musha, now, but 'tis the foin, handsome man ye are, an' ye've a gintleman's face on ye, bedad ye have, an," here she showed a halfpenny in her withered claw, "this is all I got since I kem out, and me that's twistin' wid the rummatacks like the divil on a hot griddle; the holy Mother o' God knows its thrue, an' me ould man, that's seventy or eighty or more the divil a one o' him knows his own age he's that sick an' bad, an' that wake intirely, that he couldn't lift a herrin' wid a pair o' hot tongs; 'tis an ulster he has, that does be ruinin' him, the docthor says; bad luck to it for an ulster wid a powltice, an' he's growlin' that he has no tobacky, God help him.
Did ye niver hear how the docthor walked intil the big meetin' an' in five minutes made the iditor av the Pioneer an' the town site agent an' that bunch look like last year's potaty patch fer ould shaws, wid the spache he gave thim?" "No," said Ben, "I didn't 'ear any such thing, I didn't." "Well, thin, go out into society, me bhoy, an' kape yer ears clane."
"An' now, Docthor," said Ellish, "what 'ud you think a girl ought to bring a young man like Dan, that's to have four thousand pounds?" "I don't think any Catholic girl of his own rank in the county, could get more than a couple of hundred." "That's one shillin' to every pound he has," replied Ellish, almost instantaneously.
"Shpeak for yehsilf!" retorted Slavin dryly, "Ah! this must be Docthor Cox comin' now!" A cutter containing two men was approaching them rapidly. Presently it drew up alongside the group and a short, rotund gentleman, clad in furs, sprang out and came swiftly, bag in hand. He was middle-aged, with a gray moustache and kind, alert, dark eyes.
Suddenly the nasal voice of the teamster, Lanky Jones, made itself heard. "How 'bout me?" he drawled, "ain't I in on this, too? I kin look after th' hawsses, anyways, fur yeh!" "Arrah thin! hark tu um?" said Slavin, in mock despair. "Docthor, 'tis a bad example ye're setting All right, thin, Lanky, ye shall come, an' ye wish ut. An' as man tu man I thank ye!
"Pit him oot, Docthor," said Jock, who was a great friend of the family, and who had a profound respect for the doctor. "It's beyond me, Jock, I fear. See yon bantam cock! I doubt ye'll hae to be content," said the doctor, dropping into Jock's kindly Doric. "Oh, get on there, Murchison," said Dunn impatiently. "You're not going to make an ass of me; make up your mind to that!"
Not a word under six feet will be brought into the ranks grenadiers every one of them, not to mention the thumpers you will coin." "Come, Docthor Finnerty," said our candidate, pulling up a little, "if the base Latin which you put into circulation were compared with my English thumpers, it would be found that of the two, I am more legitimate and etymological."
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