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Updated: May 7, 2025
As a specimen of our author's versification, we shall select a Poem of his called, the Art of making Puddings; published in his Miscellanies. I sing of food, by British nurse design'd, To make the stripling brave, and maiden kind. Delay not muse in numbers to rehearse The pleasures of our life, and sinews of our verse.
'Tis only by these signs I can express What my Confusion will not let me utter. I know not what strange power thou bear'st about thee, But at thy sight or touch my Sense forsakes me, And that, withal I had design'd to say, Turns to a strange disorder'd Rapture in me. Oh Erminia Er. How do you, Sir? Phi.
Oh! was there no prophetic charm that could bespeak your heart, engage it, and prevent that fatal marriage? You say, my adorable brother, we were destined from our creation for one another; that the decrees of heaven, or fate, or both, design'd us for this mutual passion: why then, oh why did not heaven, fate or destiny, do the mighty work, when first you saw my infant charms?
Years after there was found among her papers a tear-blotted sheet of verses dating from this sorrowful time: and though the sorrow opens and shows ahead, as in a flash, the contempt towards which the current is sweeping her, you see her travel down to it with hands bravely battling, clutching at the weak roots of love and hope along the shore: "O thou whom sacred rites design'd My guide and husband ever kind, My sovereign master, best of friends, On whom my earthly bliss depends: If e'er thou didst in Hetty see Aught fair or good or dear to thee, If gentle speech can ever move The cold remains of former love, Turn thou at last-my bosom ease, Or tell me why I fail to please.
"Why should we 'shut the gates of mercy' upon him when we pardon his betters for more flagrant sins? For instance, Mr. Pope, who, in his Essay on Criticism, makes a blunder, or rather uses an hyperbole, stronger than that of your poor Irish mason: 'When first young Maro in his noble mind A work t'outlast immortal Rome design'd.
If Exposing Religion with the Persons and things design'd for the keeping it up in the World, will pass for disorder; or if the Increase of Pride and Injustice, Blood and Revenge, are any signs of our being Depraved; or if want of Modesty, Obedience, and Love, contempt of Marriage, and neglect of it's Bonds may serve to shew the foundations of things to be at all out of Course.
Besides these six principal Hypotheses, Pyrophilus, there may be some others, which though Less known, may perhaps as well as thesc deserve to be taken into consideration by you; but that I should copiously debate any of them at present, I presume you will not expect, if you consider the Scope of these Papers, and the Brevity I have design'd in them, and therefore I shall at this time only take notice to you in the general of two or three things that do more peculiarly concern the Treatise you have now in your hands.
But, Sir, I will for once allow your Friend the Captain to keep you company. Enter Noisey and Diana. Bea. Bred. Haste, Dear; the Parson waits, To finish what the Powers design'd above. Dia. Noi. Psho! he conjure he can flie as soon. Gay. Gentlemen, you must be sure to confine your selves to this Circle, and have a care you neither swear, nor pray. Bea. Pray, Sir!
Whenever you have inclined to savour these Idle Amusements, you have set them before you in an Innocent Dress, and contended for nothing but what might Please without giving Offence, you never design'd that what was Prophane or Immodest, should have your Protection; or to allow your self or your Friends a Conversation that was apt to Corrupt.
Upon them, as upon substrata, I raise the edifice design'd in these Vistas. The whole present system of the officering and personnel of the army and navy of these States, and the spirit and letter of their trebly-aristocratic rules and regulations, is a monstrous exotic, a nuisance and revolt, and belong here just as much as orders of nobility, or the Pope's council of cardinals.
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