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Updated: May 19, 2025
"I'd sooner 'ave it knocked off now," ses Bill; "I don't like waiting for things." "Thursday arternoon," ses Ginger, very firm; "there's one or two gentlemen want to see a bit o' my work afore backing me, and we can combine bisness with pleasure."
He'd set 'er down for wot he called a white witch, which is the best kind and on'y do useful things, such as charming warts away or telling gals about their future 'usbands; and the next arternoon, arter telling 'is wife's mother that fresh air and travelling was the best cure for the yellow jaundice, he set off to see 'er. Mrs.
"Peterday," said the Sergeant, beginning to stir his tea faster than ever, and with his eyes still fixed, "consequent upon disparaging remarks having been passed by one Grimes, our landlord, concerning them as should not be mentioned in a inn parlour or anywhere else by such as said Grimes, I was compelled to pour a tankard of beer over said Grimes, our landlord, this arternoon, Peterday, at exactly twelve and a half minutes past six, by my watch, which done, I ran our landlord out into the road, Peterday, say half a minute later, which would make it precisely thirteen minutes after the hour.
Inextinguishable laughter from the group. At this juncture Captain Shamgar came up with his cows. "Ain't ye drivin' yer cows home ruther early, Shamgar? Sun 's a-p'intin' 'bout tew in the arternoon." "Wal, yes, but I got through cuttin' weir-stays, and thought 's the cows was over there, I'd take 'em along home with me. Save goin' back arter 'em by 'n' by, ye know."
"Bad, naughty word. You'll be sorry when you find out wot it means.... Only 'e was allus plannin' to run awye and drownd 'is-self."... He wore the joke threadbare, even to his own taste, and in the end got heavily to his feet, starting for the companionway. "Land you this arternoon," he remarked casually, "come three o'clock or thereabahts. Per'aps later.
"Why, it be this, Peter," said the old man, hobbling nearer, and peering up into my face, "ever since the time as I went an' found ye, I've thought as theer was summ'at strange about 'ee, what wi' your soft voice an' gentle ways; an' it came on me all at once about three o' the clock's arternoon, as you might be a dook in disguise, Peter.
For he's been rare quiet lately seems as if he was studyin' an' prayin' from mornin' to night, an' he ain't bin nowhere, an' no one's bin to see 'im, 'cept that scarecrow- lookin' chap, Adderley, which HE stayed a 'ole arternoon, jabberin' an' readin' to 'im. An' what's mighty queer to me is that he ain't bin fidgettin' over 'is garden like he used to.
When the dog got sick o' sitting in a pub 'e made such a noise they 'ad to take 'im out; and when 'e got tired o' walking about he sat down on the pavement and they 'ad to drag 'im along to the nearest pub agin. At five o'clock in the arternoon Ginger Dick was talking about two-penn'orth o' rat-poison. "Wot are we to do with 'im till twelve o'clock to-night?" ses Peter.
"But you get off home; I'm not tired yet, and I'll walk." Sam said 'e wasn't very tired, and he walked along wondering whether Mr. Goodman was quite right in his 'ead. For one thing, 'e seemed upset about something or other, and kept taking little peeps at 'im in a way he couldn't understand at all. "It was nice tea we 'ad this arternoon," ses Mr. Goodman at last. "De-licious," ses Sam.
Well, you're bloomin' well wrong, Maffewson, me lad. My farver 'ad a bout every Saturday arternoon and kep' it up all day a Sund'y, 'e did an' in the werry las' bout 'e ever 'ad 'e bashed 'is ole woman's 'ead in wiv' a bottle." "And was hanged?" inquired Dam politely and innocently, but most tactlessly. "Mind yer own b business," roared Corporal Prag.
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