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Updated: June 28, 2025
I was clearin' off the little table by her bed, an' she was followin' me around with them big gray eyes. 'Slickin' up? she asks after a minute; an' I could 'a' dropped right there an' then, 'cause I <i>was</i> slickin' up, fer her fun'ral. 'Where's Jim? she asks then. 'Gone ter town, says I, kind o' faint-like. 'Umph! she says, an' snaps her lips tight shet. After a minute she opens 'em again.
"Tollerbul truthful," went on the Bishop, "on all subjects he wanted to tell the truth about. An' I'm proud to say, bretherin, that after fifty odd years of intermate acquantance with our soon-to-be-deceased brother, you cu'd rely on him tellin' the truth in all things except" "Tell it as it was, Hillard no filigree work at my fun'ral " said Uncle Dave.
"Has anyone sent word to Miss Endicott?" "Sent word to Mish Endicott? No, I'd 'no's they have. Think she'd care to come? Say, boys, that's a good joke. This old fellow don't know who he is devil'n all his angels p'raps he s'gests we send word to Mish Endicott t' come' th' fun'ral " "I said nothing of the kind," said Michael fiercely. "Have you no sense of decency?
"It's 'bout time the men come in for their dinner," she said. But though Jabe was mowing the millstone hill, and though he wore a red flannel shirt, she could not see him because of the tears that blinded her eyes. The Village. "But I didn't come in to talk 'bout the fun'ral," continued Aunt Hitty, wishing that human flesh were transparent so that she could see through Samanthy Ann Ripley's back.
"Well den I is spry 'nuf!" exclaimed Aunt Patsy, with a vigorous nod of her head which sent her spectacles down to her mouth, displaying a pair of little eyes sparkling with a fire, long thought to be extinct. "Ef you'll carry me dar, to Miss Harriet Corvey's, I'll tell ole miss myse'f. I didn't 'spec to go out dat dohr till de fun'ral, but I'll go dis time.
"'So it come true, did it? says I. "'Um-hm, says she, bouncin' her head again. 'Inside of four year I traveled 'way over to South Eastboro 'most twelve mile to my Uncle Issy's fun'ral, and there I found that he'd left me nine hundred dollars for my very own. And down I flops on the parlor sofy and says I: "There! don't talk superstition to ME no more!
"'I'm glad to hear ye say that, says th' gin'ral, 'If ye didn't, I'd rayjooce ye to th' r-ranks to-morrah. I niver see th' man befure; an', be hivins, I don't want to see him again. But I have a letter here fr'm him, askin' me if he cud knock off wurruk at four o'clock to go to his aunt's fun'ral. "'Cap, says th' prisident, 'what ye got to say to this? Did ye write th' letter?
Amid great solemnity the Bishop had gone into the pulpit and was preaching: "It may be a little onusual," he said, "to preach a man's fun'ral whilst he's alive, but it will certn'ly do him mo' good than to preach it after he's dead. If we're goin' to do any good to our feller man, let's do it while he's alive. "Kind words to the livin' are more than monuments to the dead.
Then he begin to show us off, so to speak, get Jonadab telling 'bout the boats he'd sailed, or something like it and them fellers would laugh and holler, but Phil's face wouldn't shake out a reef: he looked solemn as a fun'ral all the time. Jonadab and me begun to think we was making a great hit. Well, we was, but not the way we thought.
Uncle Dave sat down. The Bishop was confused a moment, but quickly said: "Now bretherin, there's another good p'int about preachin' a man's fun'ral whilst he's alive. It gives the corpse a chance to correct any errors. Why, who'd ever have thought that good old Uncle Dave Dickey was that triflin' when he was young? Much obliged, Dave, much obliged, I'll try to tell the exact facts hereafter."
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