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Updated: June 28, 2025
When he laid it down it was bulging out with sweet potatoes, and a glance showed him that these were all gone. "Dern my buttons!" exclaimed Si, as he forgot his weariness, and his eyes flashed fire. "If I am a Corporal, I kin jest mash the feller that stole my 'taters, I don't keer if he's ten foot high. Won't somebody show 'im to me? There won't be 'nuff of 'im left to hold a fun'ral over?"
"Thaddeus, I want ter speak ter you about somethin'. I've been thinkin' it all out, an' I've decided that I've got ter kill one of us off." "Harriet!" "Well, I have. A fun'ral is the only thing that will fetch Jehiel and " "Harriet, are ye gone crazy? Have ye gone clean mad?" She looked at him appealingly. "Now, Thaddeus, don't try ter hender me, please. You see it's the only way.
McKenna stopped at the door only long enough to shake his fist at the proprietor, who responded with a grin of pure contentment. "Which d'ye think makes th' best fun'ral turnout, th' A-ho-aitches or th' Saint Vincent de Pauls, Jawn?" asked Mr. Dooley. "I don't know," said Mr. McKenna. "Are you thinking of leaving us?" "Faith, I am not," said Mr. Dooley.
"Day after the fun'ral," he went on, "I says to Mis' Jones, 'I'm goin' back out West, I says, 'an' I can't say how long I shall be gone long enough, anyway, I says, 'to git it into my head that when I come back the' won't be no little feller to jump up an' 'round my neck when I come into the house; but, long or short, I'll come back some time, an' meanwhile, as fur 's things between you an' me air, they're to go on jest the same, an' more 'n that, do you think you'll remember him some? I says.
'Tis not f'r lack iv opportunities I'm here alone, I tell ye that me bucko, f'r th' time was whin th' sound iv me feet'd brings more heads to th' windies iv Ar-rchey r-road thin'd bob up to see ye'er fun'ral go by. An' that's manny a wan." "Ah, well," said Mr. Hennessy, "I was but jokin' ye."
But some fine mornin' a little man that I could break in halves wit' my two hands 'll come dancin' along wit' a paper in his pocket and a gun in his fist; and then it'll be all over but the shoutin' or the fun'ral. There's on'y the one sure thing about it, pally: I'll not be goin' back to 'stir' not alive; d'ye see?
Teddy especially was so interested that once Nellie remarked, "You needn't get quite into Nan's mouth, Ted." Nan laughed. "If he only won't get his fingers cut instead of the paper," she said. "There! I've got a whole fun'ral of horses," remarked Ted, in a tone of great satisfaction, as he ranged a long string of the figures two and two on the table.
Sam Pretty Cow studied the match, decided which was the head of it, and drew it sharply along his boot sole. "Yeah yo're damn right. Crazy, you bet yore life. Uh-huh." "He said the Miller's Block brand could easily be turned into the N Block Belle's brand. He said horses had been run off the range " "He's dead," Sam observed unemotionally. "You bet. He's gettin' fun'ral to-day."
A fun'ral is the " "A 'fun'ral' it's murder!" he shuddered. "Oh, not ter make believe, as I shall," she protested eagerly. "It's " "Make believe!" "Why, yes, of course. <i>You'll</i> have ter be the one ter do it, 'cause I'm goin' ter be the dead one, an' " "Harriet!" "There, there, <i>please,</i> Thaddeus! I've jest got ter see Jehiel and Hannah Jane 'fore I die!" "But they they'll come if "
Misther Grogan had a grand notice in th' pa-apers: 'Grogan, at his late risidence, 279 A-archoor Avnoo, Timothy Alexander, beloved husband iv th' late Mary Grogan, father iv Maurice, Michael, Timothy, Edward, James, Peter, Paul, an' Officer Andrew Grogan, iv Cologne Sthreet station, an' iv Mrs. 'Fun'ral be carriages fr'm his late risidence to Calv'ry cimithry. Virginia City, Nivada; St.
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