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Updated: September 1, 2025
Never darst hold her for fear I 'd break her, an' it liked to skeered me to death to see the way Marthy and Lizzie would kind uv toss her round an' trot her so on their knees or pat her so on the back when she wuz collicky like the wimmin folks sez all healthy babies is afore they 're three months old. "You 're goin' to have the namin' uv her," sez Bill to me.
If your ma or pa, or whichever one done the namin' didn't have no expurgated dictionary handy mebbe they ain't to blame but from now on, between you an' me, you're Bat. That's name enough, an' the John Jack Judas Iscariot an' General Jackson part goes in the discards. An' bein' as this here is only a two-handed game, the discards is dead See?"
"I took out naturalization papers myself," replied the Major good-humoredly. "My name is Prouty Stephen Douglas Prouty. You'll prob'ly hear of me if you stay in the country. The fact is, I'm thinkin' of startin' a town and namin' it Prouty." "Shoo you don't say so!" In polite inquiry, "Whur?" "Thur!" Mr. Teeters looked a little blank as he stared at the town site indicated.
I ain't namin' no names, but I brought that pin t' you, thinkin' you could tell who owned it. Then, when it is knowed who was sneakin' around my barns, I may be able t' say who sot the fire!" "Preposterous!" exclaimed Doctor Meredith. "I will not, for one moment, entertain a suspicion, even, against one of my lads on such flimsy evidence as this." "'Tain't flimsy!" retorted the farmer.
He was telling a tale of his own wrongs always a thrilling subject. It was his barge he was speaking about. "And 'e sent down word 'paint her inside hout, not namin' no colour, d'ye see? So I gets a lotter green paint and I paints her stem to stern, and I tell yer she looked A1. Then 'E comes along and 'e says, 'Wot yer paint 'er all one colour for? 'e says.
I ain't much on this codfish stuff myself." "Shake, young man," says he grateful. "I thought you looked like the right sort. But without gettin' right down to brass tacks, or namin' any names, couldn't you slip me a few useful hints? There's no use denyin' we're in wrong here. I don't suppose it matters much just how; not now, anyway.
I'm jest namin' it to you, because you asked about the people's notions, that's all." "At least," fenced Weighborne, "you yourself see the advantages of development?" It was putting a question which was almost a challenge to this leader of the old, lawless order whose baronial power we threatened. He answered it with no flicker of visible interest in his pleasant drawl.
"Wanted to name the baby after me, 'n' I call it a pretty time to come namin' a baby when a woman has got one leg on a ladder 'n' her head tied up for bats. I thought he was the tin-peddler from Meadville, 'n' I run f'r my rag-bag, 'n' then there it was only the minister after all! Well, I was n't pleased a tall, 'n' I did n't ask him in, neither.
Sneed," he said, with an air of reproach and upbraiding, "do ye mean ter tell me ez ye hev kem up hyar with the sheriff or dep'ty ter nose me out; me, who hev got no home, folks burned my house ter the yearth, namin' me 'horse-thief' an' sech, nor frien's, nor means, nor havin's, plumb run ter groun' like a fox or sech?"
It was their boast, their greatest pride, that this story of how they became twins, how they were named, and finally married, had been recited before governors and other dignitaries, each of whom they delighted to enumerate. She looked up saying with a shade of rebuke in her voice: "Marse John's done tol' you 'bout de twins part an' de marr'in' an' as for de namin', why, dat won't take no time.
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