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"What is this, a telegram?" says Uncle Ike, as he takes it with his sticky fingers and feels for his glasses. "No, it is the bill for the melon 50 cents," said the grocer's boy. "Bunkoed, by gosh!" says Uncle Ike, as he looks around at the laughing boys who have played it on him. "Don't ever ask where a melon comes from," said the red-headed boy.
For instance, why should one who could read Goth and understand the "Sorrows," want to set around the store and argue with such-like ignoramuses as Ike Bolum and Hen Holmes? Spiker was willing to bet that right now Weston was over the way trying to prove to them that two and two was four.
Ike listened for a time unmoved, and then drawled out quietly, "What I want to remark to you jay birds is, that if ever you have any misunderstandin' with that there ascension ladder, he'll make you say more prayers in a minute than you've said for the last ten years of your mortal life. And if ever he gits after you the only thing that'll save you will be your dust."
Although Wallace was a cattleman with an enmity toward Brandon's fraternity, it did not extend to Ike himself, and he was made welcome by the rancher and his wife. Wallace's freckle-faced son, a lad of five years, who was known among his vaqueros as "Sucatash," was the other member of the family. Ike, who was fond of children, entertained this youngster and made a rather strong impression on him.
Well, sit down a minute; I want to find out a few details. Do you think now, for instance, that Whitney H. Stoddard is back of this man, Ike Bray? Because if he is, and their claim is a good one, it might make some difference to me." He said this so naturally and with such apparent resignation that Jepson almost rose to the bait, but he had learned Rimrock's ways too well.
Uncle Ike, thinking his day's work finished, objected to being put into harness again, and reared and kicked until Oliver was obliged to dismount and bribe him with more sugar. "Will you go now, you fool mule?" he asked. Uncle Ike finally decided to go, and his sure feet were soon pressing the slope toward the campfire. Oliver struck the canyon just about where Jimmie and Teddy had entered it.
"No," I said. "Didn't they hang the highwaymen in chains, Ike?" "To be sure they did. I see one myself swinging about on Hounslow Heath." "Wasn't it very horrible?" "I dunno. Dessay it was. Just look how reg'lar old Bonyparty goes along, don't he just in the same part of the road? I dessay he's a-counting all the steps he takes, and checking of 'em off to see how many more he's got to go through."
No; that was hardly the word cowed, perhaps, for the moment, would be better. But afterward, with a document like that in existence, when they would never be safe for an instant well, beasts in the cages had been known to get the better of the man with the whip, and beasts were gentle things compared with Australian Ike, The Mope, and Clarie Deane!
A general laugh greeted this sally, seeing which the indignant Ike turned the tables upon Budge with an admirable piece of sarcasm. "Seeing as how all of us together don't know 'nough to git up a name that will suit, I move that the college eddycated gentleman supplies the brains and does it himself." The crushing irony of this remark was spoiled by Budge accepting it in all seriousness.
"Do you know where he went to-night, Ike?" "No." "Den I reckon we's seed de las' o' him." "But he lef' his valise." "Yes, an' he lef' dis," said Dunkin sternly, pointing to the paper on the floor. "He sho'ly is mighty keerless of his valybles." "Let's go git de constable," said the practical Matthews. They did, though they felt that it would be unavailing.
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