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Updated: June 3, 2025
Pegg is a much travelled gentleman, and one of the most noted archæologists of the day. A trifle eccentric in his manner perhaps but a deep thinker. David, can you tell me what an archæologist is?" "Something you pretend you are," said Angel, "and you ain't." "Nonsense!" snapped Mrs. Handsomebody. "Look it up in your Johnson's when you go upstairs, and let me know the result.
I interrupted, thoughtlessly, at last. "Who do?" "The lady. When she was tight." "So that is where your thoughts were," said Mrs. Handsomebody, angrily, "nice speculations indeed, for a little boy!" "I should yike a little nushment, please," interrupted The Seraph in his turn. "Not nourishment, but punishment is what you will get, young man," replied our governess, tartly.
Handsomebody and Mary Ellen had never gone back to bed all night, but had kept watch in the dining-room till daylight, when Mary Ellen had been dispatched to find a policeman. He was in the kitchen now, a commanding figure, making notes in a little book; and seeming to derive great benefit from his conversation with Mary Ellen. A new arrival was a wheeled-chair to convey Mrs.
Scarcely dared we raise our eyes to the cold face of Mrs. Handsomebody, lest she should read in them some yearning recollection of yesterday's misdeeds. Large spoonfuls of porridge and thin milk made unwonted gurgling noises as they hurried down our throats to our empty young stomachs. When we had done, and The Seraph had offered thanks to God for this good meal, Mrs.
We were in fine spirits despite our scolding. Indeed, we almost pitied Mrs. Handsomebody for her ignorance of the wonders amongst which she had her being. Here she was, fussing over some stuffed birds in a glass case, when a live starling, who could talk, had perched near her very window sill! She spent hours in conversation with her Unitarian minister, while a real pirate lived next door.
Handsomebody placed us in a row, on three chairs in the dining-room, and seated herself opposite to us.
"You'll take just what's given to you, and no questions, young man," said Angel, out of the side of his mouth, and The Seraph subsided, crushed. Came bedtime at last, and the three of us in the big four-poster; the door shut upon the world of Mrs. Handsomebody, and the windows firmly barred against burglars and night air. Angel announced: "First watch for me!
Handsomebody's head looked abnormally large to me, and seemed to be whirling round and round. Surely she was not getting like the cobbler's wife! Mrs. Handsomebody was still scolding: "You began the day by introducing a canary of the lowest proclivities into my case of stuffed birds, where he perpetrated irreparable damage " The Seraph interrupted, "Don't you yike live birds, Mrs. Handsomebody?"
I wish I didn't for it's always time to go to bed, or do lessons, or take a tiresome walk with Mrs. Handsomebody." Harry stared hard at me. "What do you suppose," he asked, "she'll do to you, for skipping dinner? Something pretty hot?" "I dunno," I returned. "It's a new sort of badness. P'raps I'll have to do without tea, or maybe she'll write to father she's always threatening.
And I'd pwomised him to Mary Ellen for her tea!" "We may as well give up for a while," said the Bishop, mildly, "and have some lunch. Bring The Seraph to me, boys, and I shall comfort him, whilst you unpack the hamper." What hearty, wholesome appetites we brought to the cold beef and radishes! And how much more satisfying such fare than the milky messes served to us by Mrs. Handsomebody!
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