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Updated: June 28, 2025
"Now it was only Wednesday that a duck in this town knocked me out at the primaries played the identical West Side car-barn game on me! Yes, sir, fetched over 500 street-sweepers to my primaries machine candidate and all that oh! he's a jim-dandy!" "I'm sorry for you, Corkey," the wretched husband says, and thus escapes for a moment from his own terror. "Yes, it was bad medicine.
"Strike somebody of your size, you great big coward! Ah! git out, you great big coward!" "Poverty," says Ben Franklin, "often deprives a man of all spirit and virtue. It is hard for an empty bag to stand upright." David Lockwin has but one familiar acquaintance in the world and that is Corkey. Corkey will now start in search of the body of David Lockwin!
All alone on Georgian Bay! The boat leaps and settles, leaps and settles. The oars fly in his face, and are jerked away. The boat falls on something solid. What is that? It hits the boat again. An oar flies out of Corkey's hand. His hand seizes the gunwale for security. A warmer hand is felt. Corkey pulls on the hand a head a kinky head comes next. The thing is alive, and is welcome.
He learns that ten wagons have been engaged by the president of the sailors' society. He observes that the season is favorable to Corkey's plans. What, then, does Corkey want? "Nothing!" What is he after? He surely doesn't expect to go to Washington! "That's what I expect. You just screw your nut straight that time, sure." What does he want to go to Congress for? "Well, my father got there.
Corkey has not failed to plume himself on his aristocratic and familiar acquaintance. His associates are themselves flattered. Corkey is to take the telegraph editor to call on Mrs. Lockwin. The night editor is jealously regarded as too smooth with the ladies. He will be left to his own devices. "How's your rich widow?" is repeated. But Corkey cannot hear.
The adventurous declare that such a sneeze would buckle the cabin-floor of a steamer like a wave in the trough of the sea. When Corkey sneezes, sailors are moved to treat to the drinks. They mark it as an event. A sailor will treat you because it is Christmas, or because Corkey has sneezed. Greatness consists in doing one thing better or worse than any one else can do it.
I say to her and I ought to say it afore I say to her how would she like to see her old man." The patient turns away from Corkey. The oldest wounds sting like a hive of hornets. "Well, you ought to see the office she give me! She rip and stave and tear! She talk of political slander, and libel, and disgrace, and all that.
How do you feel inclined, Ben Trench? Bein' the invalid of our party, so to speak, you're entitled, I think, to speak first." "I say, Go," replied Ben. "And I say ditto," burst from Watty Wilkins with powerful emphasis. "You wasn't axed yet," observed Bob Corkey. "Besides, stowaways have no right to speak at all." "What says Mr Luke!" continued the captain. "Don't go," answered Mr Luke feebly.
"Where is the sea-dog?" asks the night editor, who is in command of the paper. "Good evening, Corkey," says the telegraph editor. "I trust we are spared for another day of usefulness," says the night editor, with an unction which is famous in the office. "How is the ooze of the salt deep, commodore?" asks the night editor. "How is the coral and green amber?" asks the telegraph editor.
"Is your old tub sinking?" asks Corkey, in retort. "That's what she is!" replies the mate. Corkey looks like a man relieved. Politics is off his mind. He will not be laughed at on the docks now. "Pardner, I'm sorry we're in this hole," he says, as the twain rush through the door to the deck. It was dim under that swinging lamp. It is dark out here. The wind is bitter.
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