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Updated: June 5, 2025
"Yes," he said, "Gabe's as funny as a jumpin' toothache." The young lady regarded him doubtfully. "I see," she said, after a moment, "you're joking again. I wish you'd tell me when you're going to do it, so Petunia and I would know for sure." "All right, I'll try not to forget to remember. But how did you guess I was jokin' this time?" "'Cause you just had to be. A jumping toothache isn't funny.
I hope I can have it, for I'm going to college again, and I've an affection for the old place, despite the smoky chimney and the cans on the cats' parade." "Yer jokin', Maister Jack." "Indeed I am not, Mrs Niven." "They telt me ye was in Callyforny, an had made 'eer fortin there by howkin' gold." "Well, they told the truth, my good woman, but I happened to invest all in Blankow Bank shares, and "
"Stop your jokin', Aleck. Rules is rules." McTurpin's fingers closed about the pistol. His eyes were venomous. Then Benito Windham entered. Just inside the door he paused, uncertainly. "I have come to vote for Senor Bartlett as Alcalde," he declared. A laugh greeted him. "You should not announce your choice," said Inspector Ward severely. "The ballot is supposedly secret."
"Lord, yes, I understand you, Miss Betty," Kettle replied, with a chuckle. "I knows when you is bullyraggin' me an' say you is goin' to sen' me back to Virginia, you is jes' jokin'. You done tole me that too oftin, Miss Betty, an' you ain't never give me no ticket yet, an' 'tain't nothin' but a sign you is comin' roun', Miss Betty."
"You're a lucky boy, Andy. I'm glad for you." "What do you say to five dollars a week, mother?" asked Andy, in exultation. "You're jokin' now, Andy," said his sister. "I don't believe you've got a place at all." "I have, thin, and it's five dollars a week I'm to get. Ask the ould maids I'm workin' for." "The Miss Grants?" "I expect so. They're mighty queer old ladies.
About a fortnight later I met old Charley Shott and says to him, jokin' like, 'Well, Charley, how much did you pay for your Sunday box-hat? 'Cost me nothing, said Charley laughin'. 'I've run up a little bill against his Reverence for that 'at. And, what's more, I've made him pay it! By the way, says he, 'what's become o' their appetites down at the Rectory?
I allus say that when I do die, I shall die a-larfin'. They calls me "Jokin' Meg" in Primrose Court. I shall die a-larfin', they say in Primrose Court, and so I shall unless I die a-cryin', she added in an utterly different and tragic voice which greatly struck me.
"Faix, then, maybe I did," said Andy, with a knowing nod. "And I hope Matty is well?" said Dick. "Ah, Misther Dick, you're always goin' on with your jokin', so you are. So, you heerd o' that job, did you? Faix, a purty lady she is oh, it's not her at all I am married to, but another woman." "Another woman!" exclaimed Dick, in surprise. "Yis, sir, another woman a kind craythur."
'Tis that good-for-nought weasel of a slieveen Tishy's after conthrivin' it on me, I well know, and bad luck to her," quoth the old man, with a sudden spasm of resentment. "Tom 'ud never play such a thrick I mane it wasn't he invinted the joke; he doesn't throuble himself wid much jokin'; he's too sinsible, and steady, and perspicuous, and oncommon set on me and the child, all the while.
"There is not the least doubt about that," observed the man; "I'm sure anyone would be glad for such charming company." The girl looked up suspiciously; "Are you a jokin'?" she said. "Indeed, I am not; I am very much in earnest." Then, taking a cob pipe from his pocket, he added, politely, "May I smoke?" "Heh? O law! yes. What you ask me for?"
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