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I'll give you a sample: I belong to the London Senior Conservative Club and yet I don't. I have the swellest house in London yet it doesn't belong to me. I'm worth one million and eight thousand pounds, yet the other day I had to steal a few sovereigns, but the law could not touch me for stealing them. I have an uncle who is a duke yet I am no relation to him.
"Yes," replied Adonis. "I hold office for the six months that I am here. You know that I am a resident of Olympus only half the time. The balance I live in Hades." "It's a common custom," said I. "Even with us, our swellest people go south for the winter." "Hum yes," said Adonis, somewhat confused. "It's very good of you to draw that parallel.
The president himself couldn't have rolled that sentence off better, or that old piece of pomposity who conies to the secret meetings with the gold-headed cane." "That's Judge Hildreth. He's another deep one or I lose my guess." "Why, he's a No. I deacon in one of the uptown's swellest churches!" "Guess he's a child of darkness in between times then, for I'll bet he does lots of underground work.
Why, she's your wife, isn't she?" "Sure, and playing the 'Wheel' when she belongs in musical comedy. She dances as good as she did when we worked together after she gets warmed up and she looks great in tights swellest legs in burlesque, Mr. Pope. Can't you place her?" "She's a trifle old, I'm afraid." "Huh! She wigs up a lot better'n some of the squabs in this troupe.
"He's got money to burn and burns it." The bartender withdrew. The young man struck a match and held it for her to light the cigarette she took from her purse. Then he lit one himself. "Next time try one of mine," said he. "I get 'em of a fellow that makes for the swellest uptown houses. But I get 'em ten cents a package instead of forty. I haven't seen you down here before.
Then you must come to the door and say, 'Wouldn't you like a little oyster stew? Say it carelessly, as if we always have something to eat before going to bed. And I'll say, 'Oh, yes, Prudence, bring it right in. Then you bring it in, and we'll all eat together. That's the way to do it! Babbie's had dates with the very swellest girls in school, and he knows about such things.
Why, say, I'm going to have Kenneth Escott put a piece in the paper saying that the swellest dressed woman in the U. S. is Mrs. E. Louetta Swanson." "Now, you stop teasing me!" But she beamed. "Let's dance a little. George, you've got to dance with me." Even as he protested, "Oh, you know what a rotten dancer I am!" he was lumbering to his feet. "I'll teach you. I can teach anybody."
He was not a Joppite by either birth or education; indeed, he had but lately arrived on his first visit as a summer guest, and was hardly known to anybody personally as yet, though there was not a girl in the place but was already perfectly well aware of his existence, and had placed him instantly as "one of the very swellest of the swells."
His action produced the desired effect of tantalizing the brakemen, and they exclaimed eagerly: "Out with it, Hos'! Tell us! Let us in on it!" Waiting a moment, to give his words greater emphasis, the conductor removed his pipe from his mouth, and said: "All the boys are going up to Sweeney's, order the swellest meal he can put up, and send the bill to Jenkins!" "Whoopee! Great!
Another minute and we're bein' shot up I don't know how many stories, and are steppin' out into the swellest set of office rooms I was ever in. A mahogany door opens, and in comes a wispy, yellow-skinned, dried-up little old party with eyes like a rat. Didn't look much like the pictures they print of him, but I guessed it was Gedney.
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