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Updated: September 21, 2025
But Josiah is dretful ambitious. When we wuz lookin' at the different pictures of the popes in their high hats, sez he: "How becomin' such a hat would be to me. I believe I shall be took in one when I get home; I could take Father Allen's and Father Smith's old stove-pipe hats and set my best one on top, and then cut out a wooden cross on top; how uneek it would be."
Professor Hamblin was walking up and down in the waist, a very pretty type of the squall itself, when the initial stroke of the tempest came upon the Josephine. His "stove-pipe" hat, as non-nautical as anything could be, which he persisted in wearing, was tipped from his head, and borne over the rail into the sea.
This he does by deftly inserting the hen into a joint of stove-pipe and then cementing both ends of the same. Colonel Root is also the discoverer of a cipher which shows that Julius Cæsar's dying words were: "Et tu Brute. Verily the tail goeth with the hide." After a while the driver paused. Colonel Root asked him why he tarried.
'You little idiot; did you ever see my father in a stove-pipe hat on a week-day? cried Reg, with infinite scorn. 'Then it's Brian. 'Brian is in Norway. The gentleman looked up and greeted them all with a comprehensive smile. It was Dr. Rylance. 'So glad I have found you, young people, he said blandly.
High above the stove in the kitchen is a good place, so long as it is not too near the stove-pipe. After one day bring it nearer the heat. Then about the second day, put it in the oven. Last of all, and this is the hardest part to do, let the Guide put the bone-dry pot right into the fire, deep down into the red coals at night, and leave it there till next day.
That language is a musical one, but its oaths are very harsh in sound. A battered "stove-pipe" hat was found among the spoils turned over to Captain Chancy. Placing it on his head jauntily, he turned to us, saying, Adios, and went strutting down the street, the picture of gratified vanity.
"Not that the bomb don't produce first-class results at times and under circumstances," he said, "but it's uncertain and costly." The Governor hesitated about the hole in the roof, which Hilbrun told us was for a metal pipe to conduct his generated gases into the air. The owner of the barn had gone to Laramie. However, we found a stove-pipe hole, which saved delay.
A patch of tin caught his eye and he carried the candle over to examine it. It was about a foot square, covering a stove-pipe hole, and was held in place by four tacks. He pulled out his knife, loosened one tack and bent the corner up. Then he put his ear down and listened. Alf had just returned to the room. "Why not take 'em to Chattanooga now?" he was demanding.
Steve saw a stove-pipe sticking out crookedly through the shed roof; noted a thin spear of smoke. He spurred across the stream and to the timber boss's quarters. Woods heard him and came out into the brightening morning, drawing the door closed behind him. His eyes, like the cook's though to a lesser degree, showed indications of a wild night in town.
Of the total inefficiency of the stove-pipe hat as an article of armour, I have never had the slightest doubt since then. There was a great flash and rattle of canes. Then the air was full of us. In the heat of it all prudence went to the winds. We hit out right and left, on both sides, smashing hats and bruising heads and hands.
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