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Updated: June 22, 2025
It was a Saturday arternoon when he called, and, o' course, Bill was out, but 'is missis showed him in, and, arter fetching another chair from the kitchen, asked 'im to sit down. Silas was very perlite at fust, but arter looking round the room and seeing 'ow bare it was, he gave a little cough, and he ses, "I thought Bill was doing well?" he ses. "So he is," ses Mrs. Burtenshaw.
"That lawyer Fink, that got up the Kennel Club, an' has the bully dog team, an' Daly, the feller with the smile that makes you feel like there's sunshine in the room, was a-talkin' agin each other; an' their fightin' was so excitin' an' so smooth an' perlite too, that everybody was a-settin' on the edges o' their chairs a-waitin' fer what was a-comin' next."
"I vags," exclaimed Bart, pausing and wiping the perspiration from his face with his sleeve, as he emerged from the wood, "if the perlite Frenchman, they tell of, who thought women had no legs, had followed this one through a mile-swamp at the rate she has gone, he would think a little different about the matter, I guess. But never mind the tramp, Bart, but still keep your eye on her.
And I ain't goin' ter 'Rill Scattergood's school never, no more!" "Young man," commanded his father, angrily, "you hold that tongue o' yourn. And you be perlite to your cousin, or I'll dance the dust out o' your jacket with a hick'ry sprout, big as ye be." Janice hastened to change the subject and tune the conversation to a more pleasant key. "It is so pretty all over this hillside," she said.
"Think of a feller's havin' a sister like that. Why, I wouldn't throw her in a soap-grease barrel." "Who was this friend. Madam?" said Si, "and where is his letter?" "I don't know whether to give it to yo' or not," said she. "Y're not the men at all that he ascribed to me. He said yo' wuz very good-lookin', perlite gentlemen, who couldn't do too much for a lady."
The galls larf, the helps larf, and the, bed-room maid larfs; and who the plague can blame them? Old Marm don't larf though, because she is too perlite, and besides, she's lost her flowers, and that's no larfin' matter; and you don't larf, 'cause you feel a little the nastiest you ever did, and jist as near like a fool as to be taken for one, in the dark, that's a fact.
I wonder she didn't correct him for his profanity, but I allow for once she was scared stiff, and hadn't no answer ready. My! But she kind of shrunk in and looked a million years old. "Madam," said he, "do you belong to this column?" "Unofficially, I do," she said, perking up a little. "Might I inquire where you came from?" said he, doing the ironical perlite. "Oakland, California," said she.
Marse Hi's losin' his las' grain o' sense; but he bettah min' how he capers 'roun'. He's been pussecutin' thet bressed chile long 'nough all kaze she's true teh her 'fections, an' woan give in when he say she shan't hev thet nice, rosy-cheek, perlite young gemmin she's begaged to. Ole Dilsey's done kep' still long 'nough; it's time fer her teh lay down de law a bit.
"'Nom, says he, 'not exactly in the business, but I 'ave made pets of several. And with that he lifts his 'at as perlite as a lord, and walks away. Old Bersicker kep' a-lookin' arter 'im till 'e was out of sight, and then went and lay down in a corner and wouldn't come hout the 'ole hevening. Well, larst night, so soon as the moon was hup, the wolves here all began a-'owling.
"Ain't you got any sense?" "Well, wot are you going to do?" ses the cabman, picking 'is teeth with a bit o' straw. "Wot would you do if you was me?" ses Sam, calming down a bit and trying to speak civil. "Well, if I was you," said the cabman, speaking very slow, "I should be more perlite to begin with; you accused me just now me, a 'ard-working man o' kidnapping you."
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