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Updated: June 14, 2025
"She tried half-a-dozen ways puttin' wild parsnip in my likker, giving me pokeberry bitters, and so on, but nothin' fetched me. Finally she deviled me to carry her acrost the crick to the Confederit lines. I found this ole jo-boat at last, an' we got in. Suddenly, quick as lightning she picked up the oars, an' give the boat a kick which sent hit away out into the current.
I use to call out de figgers: 'Ladies, sasshay, Gents to de lef, now all swing. Ever'body lak my calls an' de dancers sho' moved smooth an' pretty. Long after de war was over de white folks would 'gage me to come' roun' wid de band an' call de figgers at all de big dances. Dey always paid me well. "Old Mis' 'ud let us cook a gran' supper an' Marse 'ud slip us some likker.
She put her arms akimbo and retorted vigorously: "Nary drap o' likker yo'll git from me, Sol. Simmons. Go and git yer likker whar y're welcome. Y're not welcome here. I don't keer if yo' have killed two Yankees or 20 Yankees. Y're allers talkin' about killin' Yankees, but nobody never sees none that y've killed. I'm a better Confederit than yo' ever dared be.
Yes, sir; I know a man when I see him." And he swore freely. "Another time, sir," I begged off. "I have an engagement this evening " "O' course you have. Don't I know that, too, by Gawd? The when, where and who? Didn't she tell me to keep my eyes skinned for you, and to cotton to you when you come in? We'll find her, after we likker up." "She did?" "Why not? Ain't I a friend o' hern? You bet!
All dey b'lieves in now is drinkin' an' carousin'. Dey aint got no use for nothin' but a little corn likker an' a fight. I dont b'lieve in no such gwine-on, no sir-ree. Dat's de reason I stays out here by myse'f all de time. I don't want to have nothin' to do wid 'em. I goes to town 'bout once a mont' to git s'pplies, but I don' never fool 'roun' wid dem Niggers den.
"Shippin' 'fore de mahst ain't no job to make a preacher f'm a youngster; hit's plenty tough; but I ain't nevah been sorry I went to sea; effen a boy gwine take to likker an' wimmen, he kin git plenty o'both at home, same as in for'n ports."
Y'r the dratted measly sapsucker that bounced me 'bout takin' likker inter camp. What bizniss wuz hit o' your'n whether I tuk likker in or not? Jest wanted t' be smart, didn't ye? Jest wanted t' interfere with a lone, lorn widder lady makin' a honest livin' for herself and 10 children. My ole man ketched the black ager layin' out in the brush to dodge the conscripters.
An' one got shot, an' one got drowned, An' th' last un got losted an' never was found "Ain't hit funny, son," said he, turning to Banion with cup uplifted, "how stiff likker allus makes me remember what I done fergot? Now Kit told me, that at Laramie "
He acknowledged in an overbearing way the greetings of the others, and called out imperiously: "'Frony, gi' me a stiff dram o' yer best at wunst. My throat's drier'n a lime-kiln. Bin ridin' all mornin'." "Folks wantin' likker don't say must t' me, but will yo', an' please," she answered sulkily. "'Must, 'please, yo' hag," he said savagely. "Talk that a-way to me.
It'd be like givin' a thief his booty, or a burglar his plunder, and make me his pardner." "You're right there, Pap," assented Si. "You'd jest be settin' him up in business in some other stand. Five hundred dollars'd give him a good start. His hair'll soon grow agin." "The worst of it," sighed Shorty, "is that it ain't good likker. Otherwise it'd be different.
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