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Updated: May 27, 2025
I'd make a caution of him, I know. I'd polish his dial-plate fust, and then I'd feel his short ribs, so as to make him larf, a leetle jist a leetle the loudest he ever heerd. Lord, he'd think thunder and lightnin' a mint julip to it. I'd ring him in the nose as they do pigs in my country, to prevent them rootin' up what they hadn't ought."
"'Well, when a boy, they say he was considerable sum as a wrastler. "Sourcrout won't larf, because it's agin rules; but he gig goggles like a turkey-cock, and says he, 'It's for ever and ever the same thing with Brother Josh. He is like an over-shot mill, one everlastin' wishy-washy stream.
For nations or individuals, it's all the same, honesty is the best policy, and no mistake. That, sais I, 'is the hill, Abednego, for Hope to pitch her tent on, and no mistake, and I put my finger to my nose, and winked. "'Well, sais he, 'it is; but you are a droll feller, Slick, there is no standin' your jokes. I'll give you leave to larf if you like, but you must give me leave to win if I can.
Why one or two poor parsons, that have nothin' new in 'em, and nothin' new on 'em, goodish sort of people too, only they larf a leetle, jist a leetle louder at host's jokes, than at mine, at least, I suspicion it, 'cause I never could see nothin' to larf at in his jokes.
But don't you go and put me into the sea, says I, 'becoz it's wrote that I ain't never going to git drowned, and you'll have all your trouble for nothing, says I. That made 'em larf a most tremenjous larf.
Well, you never heerd sich a shoutin and clappin of hands, and cheerin, in your life they haw hawed like thunder. Says I Jehiel Quirk that was a superb joke of yourn, how you made the folks larf didn't you? You are een amost the wittiest critter I ever seed. I guess you'll mind your parts o' speech, and study the ACCIDENCE agin afore you let your clapper run arter that fashion, won't you?
He tells that to every stranger, every stranger larfs, and the two parsons larf, and the old 'Sir' larfs so, he wakes up an old sleepin' cough that most breaks his ribs, and Thomas is set up for a character. "Well, arter servants is gone, and women folks made themselves scarce, we haul up closer to the table, have more room for legs, and then comes the most interestin' part.
He soon finds he's treed; his flint is fixed then, you may depend. She larns him how vinegar is made: Put plenty of sugar into the water aforehand, my dear, says she, if you want to make it real sharp. The larf is on the other side of his mouth then. If his slay gets upsot, its no longer a funny matter, I tell you; he catches it right and left.
Is that story of hers true about her daughter and Llanbeblig churchyard? 'That's true enough, though she's a wunner at a lie: that's true enough. But as I spoke I heard a noise like the laugh or the shriek of a maniac. It seemed to come from upstairs. 'She's a-larfin' ag'in, said the girl. 'It's a very wicked larf, sir, ain't it?
Mass'r Marigny want buy 'Rore, an Mass'r Crozat, and de American Colonel on de oder side ob ribber dey all bid two thousand dollar ole mass'r he only larf at um, and say he won't sell de gal for no money." "This was in old master's time?" "Ye ye but one bid since one boss ob ribber-boat he say he want 'Rore for de lady cabin. He talk rough to her. Missa she angry tell 'im go.
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