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Updated: June 25, 2025
Then he turned to the army. "Nomes and soldiers," said he, "you are to obey the commands of General Guph until he becomes dog-feed. Any man who fails to obey his new General will be promptly thrown away. You are now dismissed." Guph went to the King's private cave and sat down upon an amethyst chair and put his feet on the arm of the King's ruby throne.
"Good!" cried the King. "An excellent plan, Guph. I'll do it. While they are conquering Oz I'll get the Magic Belt, and then only the Nomes will remain to ravage the country." So you see there was only one thing that all were agreed upon that Oz should be destroyed. On, on, on the vast ranks of invaders marched, filling the tunnel from side to side.
Then Kaliko, in quite a kingly way, informed Guph that he was appointed the Royal Chamberlain, and promised not to throw the sceptre at his head unless he deserved it. All this being pleasantly arranged, the new Chamberlain went away to tell the news to all the nomes of the underground Kingdom, every one of whom would be delighted with the change in Kings. Quox Quietly Quits
"The First and Foremost is a particular friend of mine, and will do us no harm. Why, when I was there, he even invited me into his house." The General neglected to tell the King how he had been jerked into the hut of the First and Foremost by means of the brass hoop. So Roquat the Red looked at his General admiringly and said: "You are a wonderful Nome, Guph.
So you will be very careful not to hurt me until I have carried out your wishes. After that " "Well, what then?" inquired the King. "Then you will be so grateful to me that you won't care to hurt me," replied the General. "That is a very good argument," said Roquat. "But suppose you fail?" "Then it's the slicing machine. I agree to that," announced Guph.
I don't wish to hurry you, but please tell me if you are coming down, or going up?" "Neither," snapped the alligator, clicking its cruel jaws together. The General hesitated. "Are you likely to stay there long?" he asked. "A few hundred years or so," said the alligator. Guph softly rubbed the end of his nose and tried to think what to do.
Then the First and Foremost, who had resumed his hairy body and bear head, turned to the Nome and asked: "Do you still demand our assistance?" "More than ever," answered the General, firmly. "Then tell me: what can you offer the Phanfasms that they have not already?" inquired the First and Foremost. Guph hesitated. He really did not know what to say.
"Eggs!" shrieked the three nomes who were present, shuddering till their teeth chattered. "What's the matter?" asked Betsy wonderingly. "Are eggs as high here as they are at home?" "Guph," said the King in an agitated voice, turning to his General, "let us destroy this rash mortal at once! Seize her and take her to the Slimy Cave and lock her in."
He did not think it necessary to tell Roquat that the Growleywogs demanded twenty thousand slaves. It would be time enough for that when Oz was conquered. "A very reasonable request, I'm sure," remarked the King. "I must congratulate you, Guph, upon the wonderful success of your journey." "But that is not all," said the General, proudly. The King seemed astonished. "Speak out, sir!" he commanded.
So Guph was led away to the royal castle, where the Grand Gallipoot told him that the Growleywogs had decided to assist the Nomes in conquering the Land of Oz. "Whenever you are ready," he added, "send me word and I will march with eighteen thousand of my most powerful warriors to your aid." Guph was so delighted that he forgot all the smarting caused by the pins and the pulling of whiskers.
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