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Updated: June 16, 2025
Indeed after a time there was no withholding him, and they finally took their seats in the dining-room before anybody else. At what seemed to the impatient Baron unconscionably long intervals a few people dropped in and began to study their menus and glance with an air of uncomfortable suspicion at their neighbours. “I vonder vill she gom,” he said three or four times at least.
It’s a devilish dull world when one can’t share a bottle—or a brace of them, for the matter of that.” “You know London?” asked the Baron. “I used to, and I daresay my memory will revive.” “I know it not, pairhaps you can inform. I haf gom, as I say, to-day.” “With pleasure,” said the stranger, readily. “In fact, if you are ever disengaged I may possibly be able to act as showman.”
I was clean nonplussed, and felt as uncomfortable as a boiling crawfish, but fortunately rattle-pate came to my aid and drowned my confusion in a flood of words. "And all he said, y'r ladyship, was that Timothy's coat was too big for 'im. Gom, it beat cock-fighting, it did. Swelp me bob it did.
No, I vill take no refusal! Listen! I am now meeting a distinguished person on important international business do you pairceive? Ha, ha, ha! To-night it vill be necessary ve most dine togezzer. I have an engagement, but he can be put off for soch a great person as the man I am now meeting at ze club! You vill gom?" "I should have been delighted only unluckily I have a man dining with me.
"Yow've 'ad enough, my lad," said the host, "to last y'r the rest of y'r life. The next 'oss you rides'll be foaled of an acorn. Let Timothy put him in clink, Master Mayor, and come and have a noggin of the real thing. Gom, I'm that dry my belly'll be thinking my throat's cut." "Arrest this man, Timothy Tomkins, and put him in jail till I can take due order for his trial."
I gom back bresently. My bill! Confound it! I want something to eat first. When is that Bisque coming? Waiter. Ach, peg your bardon, ve haf peen so pusy all day. Your Bisque vill pe retty diregly. Horatia. Now we're farther off from getting any food than ever! I suppose you mean to do something, AUGUSTUS? Augustus. Of course certainly. I shall speak very strongly.
As for the other townies, they enjoyed it like a play. "Gom!" said one. "He's trod on Tim's gammy toe." "Damn if he don't turn on 'is missus when 'er does that," said another. The Colonel and Margaret were looking back when I drew level. "Anything the matter?" he asked. "The spy is discovered, sir," I said. "Does that mean harm to Master Freake?" inquired Margaret. "Not it," replied the Colonel.
'E started an inch off the table and ate till 'e touched, as we say in Staffordsheer, and then sent for 'is baggage, and 'as lain 'ere ever since in the great bedchamber over y'r yeds, an' I'm thinking to call it the Duke's Room an' charge sixpence extra for it. It's worth another sixpence to sleep in the same bed as a duke's slep' in. If it ain't, by gom, I'd like to know what he is for.
The bed creaked, there was a volcanic upheaval of the clothes as the Baron sprang out on to the floor, and the next instant Mr Bunker was clasped in his embrace. “Ach, my own Bonker, forgif me! I haf suspected, I haf not been ze true friend; you have sairved me right to gom here as ze Baron. I vas too bad a Baron to gom! You have amused me, you have instrogted, you have varmed my heart.
"Here is a singular phenomenon a bunch of white heather that has got itself tied together with ribbon!" The Baron started, and took the tiny bouquet from his hand, his eyes sparkling with delight. "It must be a gift from " he began, and then laid it down again, though his gaze continued fixed upon it. "How did it gom in?" he mused. "Ach! she most have brought it herself. How vary nice!"
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