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Updated: May 31, 2025
De man I knows is name' Johnson. He b'longs ter my chu'ch. I 'm gwine out dat way ter git a passenger fer de ten o'clock train, an I 'll take you by dere."
An' dem chillen o' his'n, which ain't nuver is had no proper mo'nin' fur dey mammy no mo' 'n what color Gord give 'em in dey skins I gwine put 'em in special secon' mo'nin', 'cordin' to de time dey ought ter been wearin' it; an' when we walks up de island o' de chu'ch, dey got ter foller, two by two, keepin' time ter de fun'al march.
Ah guess they killed three or fo' on Tolah's place while ah was there. "Ah nevah went to school. Learned to read and write mah name after ah was free in night school, but they nevah allowed us to have a book in ouah hand, and we couldn't have no money neither. If we had money we had to tu'n it ovah to ouah ownah. Chu'ch was not allowed in ouah pa't neithah.
The girl turned a pair of angry, bewildered eyes upon her companion. "Impertinence!" The man nodded significantly. "Sure. Them two scallywags of yours ain't got nothin' to give to the building of the chu'ch. Which means they'll need to get busy workin' on it. Guess work never did come welcome to Mister Peter Clancy and Nick. They hate work worse'n washin' an' that's some.
Yo' grandaddy 'll fin' out 'bout you yit, ef you don' min' yo' P's an' Q's. I does my bes' ter keep yo' misdoin's f'm 'im, an' sense I b'en tu'ned out er de chu'ch thoo no fault er my own, God knows! I've tol' lies 'nuff 'bout you ter sink a ship.
Dey got some dese hyah coal-ile lamps dar des inside de chu'ch do' an' dey been keepin' on 'em lighted, daytimes an' night times, fo' two days now, kaze dey say dey ain't gwine fo' ter be cotched napping when de bridegroom COMeth.
De men dee axed me to bet, but I 'low how I was a chu'ch membah an' didn't tek pa't in no sich carryin's on, an' den dee said 'twan't nuffin mo' den des' a chu'ch raffle, an' it was mo' fun den anyt'ing else. I des' say dat I could fin' de little ball, an' dee said I couldn't, an' if I fin' it dee gin me twenty dollahs, an' if I didn' I des' gin 'em ten dollahs. I shuk my haid.
THE deacon of a colored church met Uncle Remus recently, and, after some uninteresting remarks about the weather, asked: "How dis you don't come down ter chu'ch no mo', Brer Remus? We er bin er havin' some mighty 'freshen' times lately." "Hit's bin a long time sence I bin down dar, Brer Rastus, an' hit'll be longer. I done got my dose." "You ain't done gone an' unjined, is you, Brer Remus?"
"Preachah er no preachah, you hyeah what I say," and he took the possum, and put it on the highest shelf. "Wha's de mattah wid you, Jim; dat's one o' de' 'quiahments o' de chu'ch." The angry man turned to the preacher. "Is it one o' de 'quiahments o' de chu'ch dat you eat hyeah ter-night?" "Hit sholy am usual fu' de shepherd to sup wherevah he stop," said Parker suavely.
I've be'n tu'ned out'n de chu'ch, but I don' know who my enemy is dere, er ef it wuz all a mistake, like dis yer jailin' is; but de Debbil is in dis somewhar, Mars John, an' I got my reasons fer sayin' so." "What do you mean, Sandy?" Sandy related his experience of the preceding evening: how he had seen the apparition preceding him to the house, and how he had questioned Tom upon the subject.
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