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Updated: June 3, 2025
"Why the men, of course," sez he. "The men have always made the rules of the churches, and translated the Bibles, and everything else that is difficult," sez he. Sez I, in fearful dry axents, almost husky ones, "It seems to take quite a knack to know jest when the word laymen means men and when it means wimmen." "That is so," sez Josiah.
But at that very minute I heard a noise outside the door, and I heard that beloved voice a sayin' in low axents the words I had so often heard him speak, words I had oft rebuked him for, but now, so weak will human love make one, now, I welcome them gladly they sounded exquisitely sweet to me. The words wuz, "Dumb 'em!" And I joyfully opened the door. But oh! what a sight met my eye.
And he whispered in the same axents, "5 times 9 is 45 ; if it had been to a fair, or Fourth of July, or anything, it would have cost me 45 cents, and if it had been to a church social lemme see 9 times 10 is 90. It would have cost me a dollar bill! And here I am a havin' it all for 5 cents. Why," sez he, "I never see the beat on't in my life."
"I talked a good deal, bein' so mad at the Nation for makin' such dretful hard work partakin' of a gnat, and then swallerin' down Barnum's hull circus, side-shows and all. "Why didn't the Nation shet up the saloons?" sez she, in bitter axents.
As we disembarked Josiah grasped holt of my hand ostensibly to help me but really in tender greeting, and sez in fervid axents, "I wouldn't have you take that trip alone, Samantha, without me with you to protect you, not for worlds." "No," sez Blandina, "what would we have done without dear Uncle Josiah by our side?"
"Wall," sez I in weak axents, and dumbfoundered, "any whale story I could hear about Chicago wouldn't surprise me a mite." And I wiped my brow on my white linen handkerchief, for though the idee didn't surprise me none, it started the sweat. Sez Josiah, "It is 225 feet long, and has a fountain in it, and a skylight 138 feet long."
As we started out ag'in, he looked down onto my faithful umberell, that had stiddied me on so many towers of principle, and sez he, in low concentrated axents of skern and bitterness, "If that wuz a dumb parasol, Samantha, I would crush it to the earth and grind it to atoms."
And to see 'em workin' away right before us at all the industrial trades, to see inteligence in the eyes that had held savagery, to hear the inteligent conversation in place of gutteral axents, I wuz highly tickled.
And I sez back to him in low deep axents, "There is such a thing as bein' too graspin', Josiah Allen." Sez I, "The children of Israel used to want to lay up more manny than they wanted or needed, and it spilte on their hands." And sez I, "you see if it haint jest so with you; you have been in too great haste to enrich yourself, and you'll be sorry for it, you see if you haint." And he was.
He looked pitiful and meek, and sot demute for a couple of minutes. I see that I had convinced him about the Equinomical Counsel; he see that it wouldn't do, and he wouldn't make no more show than a underlin'. But anon, or about that time, he spoke out in pitiful axents
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