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Updated: July 3, 2025
Shakespeare says that' Sorrows never come a-spyin' along as single fighters, but they come in hull battles of 'em, or words to that effect." Sez I, in reasonable axents, "Mebby I shall have a hull lot of good things happen to me right along, one after another, some dretful agreeable days, and easy."
I could go there and spend months and months of perfect bliss, and learn more there in one day than I could in years in Jonesville." "Where would you build it?" sez I in frosty axents.
And when a short time afterwards he asked me what time of day it wuz, pretendin' his watch had stopped, I looked full and cold in his face for several minutes before I sez in icy axents, "I don't know!" Every word fallin' from my lips like ice-suckles from a ruff in a January thaw, and then I turned my back and went away from him. Vain attempt! What wicked arts men do possess!
Sez I, in low, deep axents, "You stay where you be, Josiah Allen, and I will go forward, bein' 2 females together, it is what it is right to do and if we need your help I will holler." And finally he consented after a parlay.
'Taint nothin' I want to do, and you ort to know it." And I says in pityin' axents but firm, "If you don't want to, Josiah, I wouldn't, fashion or no fashion." But I see I couldn't convince him, and there happened to be a skercity of men jest then and he kep' it up, and it kep' me on the key veav, as Maggie says, when she is on the tenter hooks of suspense.
If there wuzn't any deacon-work that they ought to be expected to do and if it wuz right for 'em to go into any world's work so wild and hazardous and engrossin', as this enterprise?" And again they sez to me in stern, decided axents, "The better the man, the better the deed. We need buzz saws." And then they would turn their backs to me and stalk away very high-headed.
Look down that man's throat, and you will see 150 acres of land, a good house and barns, 20 sheep, and 40 head of cattle." "Why-ee!" says I. "Yes, you will see 'em all down that man's throat." And says she, in still more bitter axents, "You will see four mules, and a span of horses, two buggies, a double sleigh, and three buffalo-robes.
"Any woman of right feelin' would feel only too blest and honored to do the same." "I experienced from the first moment my eyes rested on you," sez the Professor in solemn axents, "a sensation, or a feeling, as you may say, that you wuz my affinity, that your soul wuz congenial, and every transitory period of time that has progressively advanced since then has but intensified the impression."
I am fairly tuckered out." And I sez in faint axents, "I would fain reach a land where parasols and puckers are not and dogs and diamonds are no more." I wuz middlin' incoherent from my agitation. But I meant well. I wuz truly in hopes I would reach some quiet place where Josiah and me could set down alone.
In some cases it might and probably did stimulate 'em to greater luxuriance, and then again a great flow of water might retard their growth. Sez I, anxiously, "Then you'd advise me to go there with him?" "Yes," sez he, "on the hull, I advise you to go." Them words I reported to Josiah, and sez I in anxious axents, "Dr. Gale advises us to go."
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