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Updated: June 6, 2025
Malt for Richie and Stephen, tell mother. Where is she? Bathing Crissie, sir. Papa's little bedpal. Lump of love. No, uncle Richie... Call me Richie. Damn your lithia water. It lowers. Whusky! Uncle Richie, really... Sit down or by the law Harry I'll knock you down. Walter squints vainly for a chair. He has nothing to sit down on, sir. He has nowhere to put it, you mug.
"Yes, yes! ay, ay!" he exclaimed, pacing violently up and down the room, "he wants nothin' but victuals an' rest steaks an' shops, and plenty o' whusky an' water hot. Don't be croodin' about him an' botherin' him. Come away, and leave him to his mother, an' send for the doctor. Has no wan gone for him yet?" "Yes; Peter has just started. I heard the clatter of his horse's feet," said Jessie.
I may need more. Tell me when it is all spent," and he filled a bumper and drained it without a halt. "Weel, ye may be dirty at many a thing," she observed, as she noted his action, "but you're a gey clean drinker o' whusky anyway," and she left him with his bottle to fuddle alone. "A gey queer body that," she mused, as she returned to the bar.
This time Geordie swung around before me, like a boat that trusts its moorings "Ye're richt, minister; wha wad hae thocht ye kent the difference? But ye're richt a' whusky is guid, but some's mair guid nor ithers, an' Scotch is mair guid nor ony ithers. Those feckless Irish fowk aye tak' the speerits o' oor native land gin they hae the siller, which isna likely. An' I dinna blame them muckle."
Sae we a' gang to the weddin' an' eats an' drinks plenty, an' pays for a' 'at we hae; and they mak' a guid profit out o' 't, for the things doesna cost them nearhan' sae muckle as we pay. So they hae a guid han'fu' ower for the plenishin'." "And what do they give you to eat and drink?" asked the girl, making talk. "Ow, skate an' mustard to eat, an' whusky to drink," answered the lad, laughing.
I ken ye better than ye ken yersel', an' ye'll mak a guid hame for me." "Maybe, Jennie! But I hae my doots. It's a sair thing for wife an' bairns when the guid man canna keep awa' frae the glass; an' when the scent of the whusky comes to me it's just as though I hae'd the throat o' a Loch Tay salmon; it just gaes doon an' doon, an' there's nae filling o' me."
But noo, as 'tis, I'm awa' hame to the whusky boatle, an' the sin o' 't, gien there be ony in sic a nicht o' cauld an' fog, 'ill jist lie at your door." "You shall have a plate of soup, and welcome, Mistress Croale!" said the minister, in a rather stagey tone of hospitality " Jane, take Mistress Croale to the kitchen with you, and " "The deil's tail i' yer soup!
The meal concluded, Duprez helped himself to a tiny liqueur glass of Chartreuse, as a wind-up to the exertions of the day, a mild luxury in which the others joined him, with the exception of Macfarlane, who was wont to declare that a "mon without his whusky was nae mon at a'," and who, therefore, persisted in burning up his interior mechanism with alcohol in spite of the doctrines of hygiene, and was now absorbed in the work of mixing his lemon, sugar, hot water, and poison his usual preparation for a night's rest.
"Surely ye maun hae an ill-wull at puir Jock, that wusses ye weel; what wad ony body say gin I poo'ed out sic a lump of gowd? 'There's that loon Jock been breakin' somebody's bank, an' then 'Fare-ye-weel, Kilaivie, to Jock's guid name. It's gane, like his last gless o' whusky, never to return." "But you are a long way from home, Jock; how will you get back?"
My heart is fair broken to think o' the cook and Eelen Young makin' a hash of the apple jeely and the damson jam. They are sure to forget the maist needfu' thing of a' and that's neither more nor less than an extra under-sheet o' good writing-paper, cut to size and weel soakit in whusky. And as for the mistakes they will make in the labelling and dating, it's a sin and a shame to think on't.
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