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Updated: June 19, 2025
It was dark by then an I come home, but I was on the watchout this morning, and after Mis’ Spafford come down to the house I heard a horse gallopin by an I looked out an saw a boy get off an take a letter to the door an ride away, an pretty soon all in a hurry your wife come out tyin her bonnet and hurryin along lookin scared.
"'Tying up a goose, Sir, is no great harm, sais I, 'seein' that a goose was made to be killed, picked and devoured, and nothin' else. Tyin' up a colonist by the heels is another thing. I don't think it right; but I don't know nothin'; I've had the book too close to my eyes. Joe H e, that never was there, can tell you twice as much as I can about the colonies.
But as we drove on agin, my mind got swamped once more in a sea of immense figgers that swashed up agin me elevators that carry grain up to the top of towerin' buildin's, 10,000 bushels a hour, and then come down its own self and weigh itself, and I guess put itself into bags and tie 'em up though he didn't speak in particuler about the tyin' up.
So I sez to Moll, sez I, 'If you ever got anything to complain of about this here white-livered weasel, you jest come straight to me, an' I'll make him sorry he didn't get into hell sooner. Well, sir, after that he never licked her without fust tyin' somethin' over her mouth so's she couldn't yell, an' it wasn't till this afternoon that I found out he'd been at it all along, same as ever, 'cept when Barry Lapelle was there.
We saw that he was set on the experiment, so I said: 'Well, hurry up, old man, and get through it quick! 'All right, General, said he, 'but I calculate we ain't quite ready yet. The gentlemen, my predecessors, what stood in that thar canister, didn't volunteer for the office not much! And I guess there was some ornamental tyin' up before the big stroke was made.
As I tell Tom though he won't believe it the only way to be sartain you're followin' yo' duty in this world is to find out the thing you hate most to do an' then do it with all yo' might. That rule has taken me through life, suh: it married me to Tom Spade, an' it's brought me here to-day. 'Don't you go up thar blabbin' on Will Fletcher, said Tom, when I was tyin' on my bonnet.
Both on us bein' tired, we'd ben a-goin' since sun-up, we found a nice shady spot 'longside th' water, an', tyin' our hosses tew th' trees, both on us laid down for a short snooze.
'Tis th' boss that's a-lookin' 'round to see who he'll be tyin' th' can to next." The men laughed. "There's one thing sure," said Bill Connley, who looked as though his body were built of rawhide stretched over a framework of steel, "when John Ward ties the can to a man, that man knows what 'tis for.
"Well, couldn't you sit somewhere?" "No, no! There isn't any one I could sit with." "Well, why not? Look at those ole dames in the corners. What's the matter your tyin' up with some o' them for a while?" "PLEASE, Walter; no!" In fact, that indomitable smile of hers was the more difficult to maintain because of these very elders to whom Walter referred.
This did not suit him a bit, but all he could do was to hurl an avalanche of words at them, which, of course, they did not understand and to which they paid no heed. "Ah, ye dhurty divils," said Mike. "Ye's have took me pistols both away from me. Ye's know I can't hurt ye's without me guns, so what's the use in ye's tyin' me like a hog, ye dhurty blackguards.
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