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Updated: May 24, 2025
Calls for a drink, and a mild cigar, Batters a sovereign down on the bar, Collars the change and says "Ta-ta!" The Guardsman! "Why, that's one of old Jemmy Fawne's songs. I haven't heard it in ages," I began. "Little devils!" said Pigeon. "Speshul! Extra speshul! Sports Edition!" a newsboy cried. "'Ere y'are, Captain. Defeat o' the Guard!"
First, she gives us The Dying Ranger, the same bein' enough of itse'f to start a sob or two; speshul when folks is, as Colonel Sterett says, 'a leetle drinkin'. Then when the public clamours for more she sings something which begins: "'Thar's many a boy who once follows the herds, On the Jones an' Plummer trail; Some dies of drink an' some of lead, An' some over kyards, an' none in bed; But they're dead game sports, so with naught but good words, We gives 'em "Farewell an' hail."
As for Easy Aaron, he's goin' about in clouds of personal an' speshul delight. It's now crowdin' along towards the time when him an' his clients will adjourn over to that county seat an' give Easy Aaron the opportoonity to write his name on the deathless calendars of fame. "'But black disapp'intment gets Easy Aaron squar' in the door.
When your hoary-headed ole grandfather or, to speak plainer, that partikler old whiskey-soaker known as Yuba Bill, wot sits on this box," he continued, with a diabolical wink at the Expressman "waltzes in to pervide for a young couple jest startin' in life, thar's nothin' mean about his style, you bet. He fills the bill every time! Speshul Providences take a back seat when he's around."
An' my earlier experiences ain't thronged with 'em neither, though while I'm workin' cattle along the Red River I does carom on Injuns more or less. Thar's one old hostile I recalls speshul; he's a fool Injun called Black Feather; Choctaw, he is. This Black Feather's weakness is fire-water; he thinks more of it than some folks does of children.
The darky scratched his head. "Ah reckon it war just befoh he ohdahd me ter bring him dat drink." "And he was here all that time?" I demanded. "Yes, suh! He was right heah." "Where did he sit?" "Lemme see. Ah recollec' now, he ask me speshul fo' dat table ovah yondah by de winder." "Can you find the boy that waited on that table that night?"
And, looking up, he would answer, "Yes, I'm well enough, my girl, but I feels cold. It's awful cold. I never did feel anything like the cold we've got just now." At eight the now familiar shouts and cries began again outside. "The Avenger again!" "Another horrible crime!" "Extra speshul edition!" such were the shouts, the exultant yells, hurled through the clear, cold air.
Now I takes it that manners don't insist none on no gent frontin' up to a bar on the invite of sech felons as Fowler, when a drink that a-way means a speshul short-cut to the tomb. "'All this yere may be troo, replies Tutt, 'but it's a exception.
"Now, how'd you feed 'em?" Birdie became judicially wise. "Well," she began, "you can't jest feed 'em same as ord'nary folks. They need speshul food. You'll need to give 'em boiled milk plain or with pap, you kin git fancy crackers an' soak 'em. Then ther's beef-tea. Not jest ord'nary beef-tea. You want to take a boilin' o' bones, an' boil for three hours, an' then skim well.
Billy can't get out none, for his laig is a heap fragmentary as yet, 'Doby's bullet gettin' all the results which is comin' that time, but he sends 'Doby word by Peets, if he hears of any more punishments bein' meted to Willyum, he regards it as a speshul affront to him, an' holds 'Doby responsible personal as soon as he can hobble.
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