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"Suppose you press one of those little feelers and blow us all to pieces get away, I tell you!" The mine-sweeper skipper looked up "Feelers, sir?" and then looked down at the mine. "Feelers, sir? Oh-h, you mean them little 'orns stickin' out on 'er? Bly-mee, sir, I thought I'd knocked 'em all hoff afore I lashed her alongside.
"What is it, John?" I inquired. "Why, then, you couldn't 'appen to notice 'im wearin' 'is 'at you couldn't 'appen to notice if 'e 'ad ever a pair o' 'orns, Peter?" "Horns!" I exclaimed. "Or a tail, Peter?" "Or even a 'oof, now?" suggested Job. "Come," said I, looking from one to the other, "what might you be driving at?"
Up and dahn the City Rowd, In at the Ayngel... Thet's the wy the money gows, Pop gows the weasel. Ever 'eard thet?" "Oh, yes," John replied, smiling. "I used to sing that song at home!" "Did you nah. An' w'ere is your 'ome?" "In Ireland!" "Ow! Thet acahnts for it. I couldn't myke aht 'ow it was you never 'eard of the 'Orns. Fency you hearin' abaht the Elephant in Ireland!"
"Says Mac to him, 'What do you call that creature? "'Moose, said he. "'Do you pretend to tell me, said Mac, 'that that henormous hanimal, with orns like a deer, is a moose? "'I don't pretend at all, said he; 'I think I hought to know one when I see it, for I have killed the matter of a undred of them in my day. "'It's a daumed lee, said the sergeant.
Yet how should honest Silas Hoskins, ostler, and general factotum of "The Bull" inn, be aware of this fact, who, being thus early at work, and seeing me lost in contemplation, paused to address me in all good faith? "A fine bull 'e be, eh, Peter? Look at them 'orns, an' that theer tail; it's seldom as you sees 'orns or a tail the like o' them, eh?" "Very seldom!" I answered, and sighed.
Rose in resentful silence, it being merely a description of the common bat, an unfortunate animal that, according to Mr. Shamrock, "'as no 'ole to 'ide in, no 'ands to 'old by, no 'orns to 'urt with, though Nature 'as given 'im 'ooks be'ind to 'itch 'imself up by."
There ain't a music-'all chep in London wot down't know the 'Orns. Not one!" "Shakespeare didn't know it," John exclaimed. "Well, 'e didn't know everythink did 'e?" the driver retorted. "P'raps the 'Orns wasn't built then. I dessay not. 'E'd 'ave mentioned it if 'e'd 'ave known abaht it. All these actor cheps know it, so of course 'e'd 'a' known abaht it, too. We'll be at the Elephant presently.
"Haw! haw!" laughed Job and the others, while Old Amos chuckled shrilly again. "But I tell 'ee I did see un, I I see'd un plain as plain," quavered the Ancient, in sudden distress. "Old Nick it were, wi' 'orns, an' a tail." "Why, Peter told us 'twere only a Scottish man wi' a bagpipe," returned Job. "Ay, for sure," nodded Old Amos, "so 'e did."
It hails every one that passes the sentry-box, and makes 'em advance and give the countersign. A man that has seed so much, Sir, in course has a good deal to talk about. Now, Sir, I don't want to undervaly the orns at no rate, but Lord bless you, Sir, I have seen the orns of a wild sheep, when I was in the Medeteranion, so large, I could hardly lift them with one hand.
"Come, 'twould be a wonnerful thing to tell as I'd took snuff out o' my very own box wi' a man as 'ad fou't wi' the devil come tak' a pinch, Peter," he pleaded. Whereupon, to please him, I did so, and immediately fell most violently a-sneezing. "And," pursued the old man when the paroxysm was over, "did ye see 'is 'orns, Peter, an' 'is "
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