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Updated: May 18, 2025
I always wanted to go somewhere's besides Trumet, and now I'm goin'. I always told Labe, my husband, that if there was one thing I was jealous of him about 'twas travelin'. 'You go from Dan to Beersheby, I says to him, 'any time you want to. 'Yes, says he this was the last time he was to home, three years ago 'Yes, he says, 'and when I don't want to, too. 'And I, I says, 'I have to say stuck here in Trumet like a post in a rail fence. 'You look more like the rail, Zuby, he says he's always pokin' fun 'cause I ain't fleshy.
And, as most people were fond of and pitied him, few questions were asked. "Why, Labe!" exclaimed Albert. "Is that you? What's the matter?" "Busy, are you, Al?" queried Laban. "In a hurry, eh? Are you? In a hurry, Al, eh?" "Why no, not especially." "Could you could you spare me two or three minutes? Two or three minutes yes, yes? Come up to my room, could you could you, Al?" "Yes indeed.
'It is not enough, said he within himself, 'to be beautiful; one's actions ought to correspond. Whilst King Beder was making these reflections, with his eyes fixed on Queen Labe, the old man turned towards him, and taking him by the arm, presented him to her majesty.
I'm I'm kind of of Oh, good Lord A'mighty, DON'T look at me like that! . . . I beg your pardon, Al. I didn't mean to bark like a dog at you. No, I didn't no, no. Forgive me, will you? Will you, Al, eh?" "Of course I will. But what is the matter, Labe? Sit down and tell me about it." Instead of sitting the little bookkeeper began to walk up and down. "Don't mind me, Al," he said, hurriedly.
What could hinder me from being a little moved at the pronouncing of so strange a transformation? But, madam," continued he, "let us drop this discourse; and since I have eaten of your cake, would you do me the favour to taste mine?" Queen Labe, who could not better justify herself than by showing this mark of confidence in the king of Persia, broke off a piece of his cake and ate it.
He used to keep a pig and 'twas too much trouble to travel way out back of the barn to feed it, so Labe rigged up this contraption. That door leads into the potato cellar. Labe fenced off half the cellar to make a stateroom for the pig. He thought as much of that hog as if 'twas his own brother, and there WAS a sort of family likeness." Thankful snorted. "A pigsty under the house!" she said.
The same moment, Queen Labe was transformed into a very beautiful mare; and her confusion was so great to find herself in that condition, that she shed tears in great abundance. She bowed her head to the feet of King Beder, thinking to move him to compassion; but though he could have been so moved, it was absolutely out of his power to repair the mischief he had done.
In one respect the reigning sovereign was in advance of his age. In his devotion to the Madonna he claimed the same miraculous origin for her mother as for herself. When the prayer "O Sancta Maria sine labe originali concepta" was chanted, he would exclaim with emotion that the words embodied his devoutest aspirations.
I was pretty nigh as much surprised as Labe. The idea of a man with a chronic case of lockjaw of the pocketbook, same as Jonadab had worried along under ever sence I knew him, suddenly breakin' loose with a notion to go to New York on a pleasure cruise! 'Twas too many for me. I set and looked at him. "'Oh, I mean it, Barzilla, he says.
But I'm fightin' too . . . er . . . I'm fightin' too." Captain Zelotes pulled his beard. "How's the fight goin', Labe?" he asked, quietly. "Well well, it's kind of kind of spotty, as you might say. There's spots when I get along fairly smooth and others when well, when it's pretty rough goin'. I've had four hard spots since Al went away, but there's two that was the hardest.
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