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Updated: May 19, 2025
At present they die; it ain't big enough; there ain't room. If he sais he hante time to hear you, and asks you to put it into writin', do you jist walk over to his table, take up his lignum vitae ruler into your fist, put your back to the door, and say 'By the 'tarnal empire, you shall hear me; you don't go out of this, till I give you the butt eend of my mind, I can tell you.
Says the old Colonel, her father. Deliverance, my dear, I would sooner foller you to your grave, for that would be an eend to your troubles, than to see you go off to that dismal country, that's nothin but an iceberg aground; and he howled as loud as an Irishman that tries to wake his wife when she is dead.
Well, says I, I hant got a drop of blood in me nothin stronger than molasses and water, I vow, but I guess I know a horse when I see him for all that, and I dont think any great shakes of your beast, any how; what start will you give me, says I, and I will run "Old Clay" agin you, for a mile lick right an eend. Ten rods, said he, for twenty dollars.
Won't I trip up a policeman's heels, thunder the knockers of the street doors, and ring the bells and leave no card? Won't I have a shy at a lamp, and then off hot foot to the hotel? Won't I say, 'Waiter, how dare you do that? "'What, Sir? "'Tread on my foot. "'I didn't, Sir. "'You did, Sir. Take that! knock him down like wink, and help him up on his feet agin with a kick on his western eend.
A woman never undertakes man's work but she comes out the little eend o' the horn. The house is enough, if you keep it nice. Now, you've got that money laid away, an' all he left you besides. You could live in the village, if you was a mind to." A deep flush struck suddenly into Amelia's cheek. She thought of Saltash and Laurie Morse.
En now he done 'vacuate hit, en Gin'ral Banks he prance right in! Hit look powerful cu'rous, hit sho do. But dar! I done seed de stars all fallin' way back in '33, en dat wuz powerful cu'rous too, fer de worl' didn't come ter an eend Mebbe, sah, he jes'er drawin' dat gent'man on?" Sullen and sorry, the army marched on, and at noon came to Elk Run Valley on the edge of Swift Run Gap.
If any man was to take his Bible oath that that little delicate girl, when she gets home, and the hall-door is shut, will scream out at the tip eend of her voice, like a screetching paraquet, "Eliza Euphemia, where in creation have you stowed yourself too?" and that Eliza Euphemia would hear her away up in the third story, and in the same key answer: "I can't come down, I ain't fit to be seen, nary way, for I'm all open before, and onfastened behind, and my hair is all in paper," I wouldn't believe him; would you?
Well, I got my dander up too, I felt all up on eend like; and, thinks I to myself, My lad if I get a clever chance, I'll give you such a quiltin' as you never had since you were raised from a seedlin', I vow. So says I, 'Mr.
Why, says he, that eternal scoundrel, that Captain John Allspice of Nahant, he used to trade to Charleston, and he carried a cargo once there of fifty barrels of nutmegs: well, he put half a bushel of good ones into each eend of the barrel, and the rest he filled up with wooden ones, so like the real thing, no soul could tell the difference until HE BIT ONE WITH HIS TEETH, and that he never thought of doing, until he was first BIT HIMSELF. Well, its been a standing joke with them southerners agin us ever since.
As we returned we saw a light in the keepin room, the fire was blazin up cheerfulsome, and Marm Porter moved about as brisk as a parched pea, though as silent as dumb, and our supper was ready in no time. As soon as she took her seat and sot down, she sprung right up on eend, as if she had sot on a pan of hot coals, and colored all over; and then tears started in her eyes.
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